Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz flies a Zero
Score: 8.0/10

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, we are at the stage where I am sure you have probrably already downloaded and possibly watched Zero no Tsukaima 12 and 13 (Finale). But no matter! I will cover them both separately, even though they are continuous/linked episodes to form some kind of Super Episode. For now I will be looking at the Prelude to the finale, the second last act in what has been a very enjoyable, lolicious journey with our pink thunder. Without further ado, let us begin…

(!!!)What are you doing here? Do not interfere with Team Rocket Business here in SYLPH!

Bonus Points if you got the reference to the caption above, folks. If you were feeling nostalgic to the old Red and Blue Pokemon Games, then give yourself a damned cookie. That scene reminded me heavily of when I walked into the door in SYLPH co. in Celadon City with Giovanni giving the old president a hard time! (I floored him with my hacked lvl 99 Blastoise of course). Woah, got a little sidetracked there. So anyway, we have ourselves watching Professor Colbert asking Osman for a leave, apparently he has found the den of a slumbering legendary dragon. Louise, in the meantime has to report to Osman about the Reconquista pests which are accumulating in the Floating Continent of Albion.

No reason for this picture. I mean who needs a reason for Louise’s cute ass? ^_^

We are then treated to a lovely scene of Louise changing (Yaay!), aside from the delicious goods in the scene, Saito walks into Louise while she is half naked. Its one of those “awww isn’t that cute” scenes which made the episode an easy and light watch, it also tells us that Saito is a healthy young man. Innuendo aside, Louise still cant get over that special kiss they shared at the back of a Blue Drake Familiar (well it sure beats smooching at the back of a car). But Saito, being the pimp laundry man, is completely oblivious to any advances that his master makes. A hilarious scene follows where Louise’s knickers fall off in front of Saito, due to him snapping the rubber the night before.

Louise in Dominatrix Punishment Mode = Infinitely Hot

Our Pink Thunder is unpleased with the lack of professional cleaning of her undergarments. So she does what all civilized nobles would, throw the servant on a lining of hay and then give them a good whip with the Horse Crop. Saito, as he becomes more frustrated with Louise, decides to get out of her face and air his anger. He kicks the Rusty old pot with a huge force, breaking his feet (not really, but lets pretend he does, for fun). There he meets Siesta, whom which I am surprised is still alive. It looks like the Soviet-Russian Assassins I sent in failed to score a letal hit, Goddamn. Anyway, she tries to seduce Saito blindly by doing her whole stupidly-nice routine, but Saito doesn’t really care, because he knows he is too Manly and he has like four other girls wanting to bed him.

Guiche looks like a girl in this screencap, lol.

Guiche, Tabitha and Kirche (Lets call them Team Rocket…Guiche can be Meowth) are walking the pathway discussing about whose Pokemon they want to enslave for their nefarious deeds. They then see Saito and Siesta having an intimate discussion, so they do what every respectable, fine, noble does…..Eavesdrop. They employ their noble ninja skills and decide to snoop on what the two are talking about. It seems that Siesta’s Grand Grandpappy is from our world, and Siesta is of Normal Human Lineage (Good, she’d be even more satisfying to kill). Murderous intentions aside, her family kept an important keepsake, that being a treasure map leading to the dragon of which her Great Grandpappy rode. Saito’s very interested, and forces her to take her there, it was either that or some serious Saito Pimpslapping.

Saito: WTF is that Bulge down there!??

Then we see Louise contemplating on how she should apologize to Saito. This is a very Shana-ish moment, as she is confused about her actual feelings of love to Saito. Though it was rather cute to see her practice by herself on how whether to apologize softly or harshly. Its was a very Louise thing to do, and thats what we are here for, the show’s about her after all.

Cool, that means I have all the things I need to hand in my quest.

Another cookie for you if you got that caption, its a reference from the World of Warcraft Online Game. Moving right along, just as Louise was about to go looking for Saito to apologize, she catches Saito riding the back of Siesta. Yeah, that sounded kinda dirty to me too, what I meant to say was, she catches Saito riding the back of Siesta’s Horse. Yeah, that sounds EVEN worse doesn’t it? No doubt our Pink Thunder was very upset upon seeing this, cursing him to be useless dog and whatnot.

This is Delta-6 to Control, we have Siesta in sight. Opening Fire on your go.

So Siesta and Saito finally reach Generic Important for Plot Advancement Village #476. Its a quaint little town, where the folk are friendly, unsuspicious and completely oblivious that their village holds the key to one of the most important relics in the Zero no Tsukaima world. To make a real world comparison, it would be someone responding “Kay” after you’ve told them that their Kitchen was actually a Gateway to a Massive Alien Battlecruiser Shipyard, then they’d offer you a cup of tea and ask you, “You are from out of town aren’t you?”. Nice Folk, those townspeople. Right, back to the episode, Siesta offers to introduce Saito to her family, in order to try to tie him down to her. Whatever woman, that tactic dont work on Saito aka Pimpslap Pietro. Saito obviously turns her down and gets her to fetch his map or else.

After Siesta is dead, this guy is next on the SOVIET HITLIST.

Yeah so, we are brought back to Albion, where the denizens are celebrating Cromwell, the asshat pictured above. This guy sucks, the only thing he has is a mind control ring which he must use in close proximity against his target. I thought Griffin-Crawling on the Land was retarded, this guy takes the cake. In fact, the whole Reconquista operation is made out of a pack of Clowns. A Pedophile Pete type, A Hopeless Master (or lack of Mastery) of Disguise and a Croissant Haired Clown to boot. Looking at Prince Tudor, I am not surprised his folly excuse for a country fell to these guys,”Hey I am Prince of Albion, lets hide out in the church instead of Counter-Attacking!”. But he can make a Viva the Revolution Speech, I give him that. But seriously, anyone can pull that off after watching some Stalin, Hitler or Churchill reels.

Wooden Baseball Bats are all the rave these days in the Magic Community.

Transition back to the Scary Mysterious Hall of Terror Cave now, where Eternal Evil, Darkness and Uncertain Corners lurk. The gang are travelling in what the Romans call a “Elephant Herd Formation”, with the Spearhead forming the attack and with an equally powerful component guarding the rear. Wise choice, Saito and company, very Strategic and forward thinking indeed. Then suddenly, they hear a voice, and the voice is angry. A spell is cast and a Stalactite is broken (Those things take Hundreds of years to form, oh the humanity!). Turns out the angry voice is Professor Colbert, snooping around and being a generally creepy from the onset. Seems the treasure he seeks is the same as the one Saito and gang are. Oh, and Louise also tagged along for the ride.

They may look like this, but its Love. Tough Love.

After a cute lovers quarrel between Saito and Louise, they decide its time to move on. They reach a clearing which signifies where the dragon lies. What cracked me up about this scene is that they all go, “There’s nothing here Scooby”. Then Suddenly, for no reason, they spot the Warehouse in front of them. Folks, a WAREHOUSE, not a well-concealed Hut, not half buried Ruins, nope, a WAREHOUSE. It escapes me how a group of promising young blood could miss a such a large storage facility. But I will excuse them, by pretending all the girls were too caught up looking at Saito’s package, heck Professor Colbert too if thats your thing. Saito reads a rock tablet resting there, and its the grave of Ensign someone or rather. Anyway, there’s a wicked Plane inside, the Japanese Zero was a versatile WWII attack craft. Its one of my favourites aside from the German Focke-Wulf. Oh yeah, thats the dragon apparently, turns out Siesta’s Great Grandpappy was a Japanese Fighter Pilot.

Ohhh Yeahh, Now that’s firepower at the palm of your hands.

So Professor Colbert brings the Zero-sen back to the academy to show everyone. Osman declares it a heritage item for magical study. Saito, being the smart chappy that he is, puts two and two together and realizes that the Dragon’s Blood is actually the Gasoline for the aircraft. Professor hypothesizes on how this Plane and it’s unfortunate pilot did not manage to return to our world. It would seem that at the solar eclipse, a portal links our world to theirs. This window has a timer, and if you miss it, then you must wait for the next eclipse (which may take hundreds of years, which is why the original owner of the plane could never live to see an escape).

Luke! Why have you turned your targeting computer off? *Use the Force Luke*…..

With this revelation in the bag, Saito hops on the plane to familiarize himself with the controls. After all, he will need to use his Quick-Weapons Learning Jutsu (available now via Gandalf Rune Learning Software) to become the next Ace Combat. As the advent of Saito’s returning to our world, Louise can’t seem to bear the prospect her dearly beloved. Saito watches solemnly as his master walks away, sad and confused. He must now make that ultimate choice, Hot Loli Bondage Queen Master or Back to our world…Are you freaking serious? No really, the guy has like a harem wanting in his pants AND he can do crazy Jedi Sword Wielding to kill stuff in that world. But I guess in our world, we have the Internet, thats a pretty good reason to come back. Oh, and Saito’s Real Family are probrably wondering where the hell their son is.

All smart Arch Villains use Colgate Fresh Whitening.

We are then left with a closing scene where the Clown Brigade are planning their World Domination in their Poorly Lit Evil Lair of Nefarious deeds. I wish I was exaggerating, but thats exactly what they are doing, and where they are doing it in. Will their plan succeed? Will it End up in a brutal failure? Will Ichigo Rescue Rukia from the evil Soul Society? Will Naruto ever find Sasuke? Will Go-I mean, yes, the epic finale is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you will join me as I continue to tear Siesta’s merit as a character and celebrate Louise as the Glorious Tsundere Loli Queen of 2006 one last time in my next entry. In the meantime, start your own revolution, all you need is some screaming people and a posh balcony.

Ja Matane,

Darkshaunz.