Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz joins the Kita Kita Kaede

Score: 7.0/10 (Saved by Kaede-chan)

To be honest, I was looking forward to seeing what Shuffle! Memories would be all about, only to be somewhat stumped at just what the series’ purpose is for. When my peers informed me that it would be a remake, I was honestly psyched, as I thought maybe Kaede wins in this series or that Asa turns into a green hentai tentacle monster. Maybe something less exaggerated, but I was obviously pining for something awesome. Then episode one came, and I was left wanting more. This episode was well…trying my patience.

New ep was a fresh change from the shitastic one from ep 1.

The first thing I was greeted with was the OP, which was a pleasant change from the first episode’s OP. I am pretty sure when the first ep’s OP played, some people killed themselves (even I felt the urge to). I enjoyed the OP’s crisp, bright and shiny colours (well I need to think of some pros) and the endless Kaede references. In fact, I think those were the only redeeming factors of the OP, that and it was sung by Kaede’s VA. If you take Kaede away, you would most likely end up with a shit OP. Being a Kaede fanboy, its fair to say that you would need to insert to save the sequence.

This is Kae-chan, they call her that because she is adorable.

Lucky Bastard =(.

The episode then tells us that it is a Kaede episode. Jesus, I had absolutely no idea! I mean the OP was basically all Kaede and Kaede SINGING, seriously who would have guessed? Thank Goodness they informed me, I think the world would have broken into two otherwise. We then start off where the original started on Kaede’s story, her dark past where the death of her mother caused her to lose the will to live. Rin, being a heroic shota, decided to shift the blame of death to him. This caused Kaede to have an unlimited lolihaet works towards him, therefore regaining her will to live (I think thats its a natural thing in young kids these days).

“Im going to kill you once this man gets off me”

I cant believe this isn’t Higurashi.

We are then taken slightly forward in time when Chibi Kaede is hatching her plans for Rin-destruction. Her evil begins with cutting his upper eye by dropping a boxcutter, locking him out during a thunderstorm and nearly choking him to death in the hospital. After watching this sequence, I had the massive urge to take out my shelved Rocket Launcher and destroy half my suburb. Further fast forward time and we have Kaede in middle school, who has just finished trashing his model boat. We always remembered our Goddess wielding the boxcutter like a Jedi Master, but this episode reminded us that she can do model-destroying too. I think I am slowly beginning to understand why people look at me funny everytime I declare my love for Kaede as she is a sweet, loving and gentle soul (she really is, as long as you ignore her stab wounds).

“USO DA!!!”

Seems that Shuffle! Memories should actually be called Shuffle! Revision, as I am watching the episode I feel like I am preparing for a Shuffle! Essay paper, where I will be questioned on Kaede’s past, her best dish and what she likes the most about Rin. Alas! Kaede found the postcard sent to her before the car accident, which Rin was hiding very ingeniously in his model ship. Thanks to Kaede SMASH, the epic plot-shaking moment occured and Kaede finally knew the truth about her mother’s death. It was actually her fault! (well not really, but its easier if we can point the finger). She’s obviously heart broken and runs away to kill herself (obviously). Before she becomes part of the road, Rin manages to football tackle her to safety.

After saving her life, Kaede becomes his personal meido.

Now that Kaede’s past has been sorted out, it was time that they got to our current present day Girl, who is now Rin’s personal hot meido and childhood friend rolled into tone, presumably she has lost her psychoness for the time being (but we all know this part of her resurfaces eventually). Now, I dont mind seeing Kaede in such a massive dose this time around, but it all felt stupidly pointless because there was no new material. All except one little gem which Rin let out when they were walking to school, declaring he was going to J-j-jam it in when viewers weren’t watching! What a sly sex fiend you are, Rin. Good to see you are living up to your Eroge heritage! (I hope he remembers to be gentle with our Goddess). The a regular member of the KKK (dressed in white and all) came in to liberate Kaede from a her yellow skinned escort. Before the racist zealot could slay Rin in the name of white supremacy, Kaede declared that her body was readily available to Rin for all kinds of devious mischief.

He’d plant his seeds in her pot, if you know what I mean.

Goddamn, there goes my hearing aid.

After all that Kaede, I was beginning to believe that too much of a good thing was indeed a bad thing. I love Kaede, but then again, so much of her in one slab was beginning to give me a toothache (she’s just such a sweet lass, sweet and psychotic). It felt nice being reunited with the gang, they are all really normal, nice and down to earth folks. On one hand, an overobssessive genius best friend, an energetic green haired girl with a penchant for black slapping and on the other, a schitzo angel and a sorcery wielding demon princess. Yeap, nothing unusual about that group of kids at all. I also need to express my love for Benibara-sensei aka “The Walking Cleavage”, I wonder how the male students actually Pay ANY attention while those two things are there. Then theres the obligatory “Everyone haul ass to the rooftop for bento time” scene. Our hero Rin has to eat 3 crates of some Japanese egg dish. Ayako subs then drops us a friendly reminder that Itadakimasu is the bon apetit of Japan, I had assumed that it was a Samurai Warcry previously. Ah, the things you learn from watching anime.

“Yes, I am very glad to see you too, Walking Cleavage”

Ayako subs has enlightened me. Never shall I use that word in vain ever again.

After all the excitement, our babe Kaede was penetrated. Penetrated by a virus, that is. She was forced to take water to her beloved Rin before he died of explosive Diarrhoea, and to make matters worse, she forced herself to walk in the rain in her condition. Naturally, the poor girl completely carks it whilst preparing yet another sumptious meal for the oblivious clown she has devoted her life to. Lying in bed and generally feeling unwanted, unloved and thrown away like a used toy, our poor girl lays there crying truly sorrowful tears (its a happy anime, remember). Its ok because Rin’s harem comes in to save the day, cooking for the two, so harems can be exremely practical too (You can hit it, and eat it too).

Try NOT to think dirty thoughts here, please.

Darkshaunz Subs: HAALOOOO~~~~!!!!11one!!!1 Rin-chan~~!!

Rin then admits to being a completely useless crapface (damn right, foo) without Kaede at his side, he thanks her and even rubs her back at one point. Its the least he could do for the girl who took care of him for 8 years, I mean she was like the big sister he never had (is that why the two never got it on? maybe theres another secret plot happening). The episode closes with Kaede reminding the audience (for the 3rd time) that she has devoted herself completely to pleasing Rin. Now we all know that eventually, she realizes that this was just an excuse to have Rin all to herself, and she nearly kills Asa bla bla bla. Why this vital part of the story was not covered, I guess we will never know, even I am left guessing just what the hell the writers were doing with this one.

I tingle whenever Kaede blushes.

What the hell was the point of this? No, seriously.

Kaede saved this episode, no arguments

Okay, so when they say Shuffle Remake, I expect a remake. I am not asking for something 180 degrees different, heck I would even consider a slight plot change, heck even a surprise new character worthy of a comparison to the original. I was of course expecting clips from the previous season to be shown as a guide to new viewers, but they shouldn’t form the bulk of things. As many of you would agree, this is no remake. This is a complete recycle of the old series, essentially its a clipshow. For Asa fans who watched this episode, I am sure you scored it 0/10 because she only appeared twice in the whole episode, and this will apply to Sia, Mayumi and Nerine fanboys and girls as well, assuming they stick with the current episode’s format that is. They potentially turned this “remake” into a “Wait for your favourite girl’s turn” clipshow.

Fortunately I am a Kaede fanboy myself, so the Kaede-centric OP, the Kaede-centric content and even the Kaede-centric ED all helped to bump up the score from what would have been a fail mark. I admit however, that this episode was a stellar improvement from last week’s (which isnt such a great achievement in itself), and I usually like to give a series at least three episodes to see what the hell is going on. I liked the original series for its entertainment value, it definitely wasnt the Deepest love story or anything, but it was just a light and fun harem. Right now, I think Memories has a lot work to do.

More Kaede goodness before I sign off.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz