Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshau-PYON PYON PYON

Score: 9.1/10 (2 Rukias in one episode, Yes please)

Wait a minute. Isn’t Rets supposed to be doing this? Folks, Retsgip has been a bit busy fighting for his life in the jungles of Cambodia lately (or Uni exams, same thing), so this means I get to do what I always wanted to do, cover a shounen episode aside from Naruto. Just because I’m covering this episode of Bleach does not mean I have any real idea on what’s going on, of course. I’m the blog’s combat vixen and GAR women guy, and I am not really attuned to the Bleach side of things. I do use Chlorox to clean out some of my Kitchen pipes…does that count? I do know one thing, I really like Rukia and trust me, Danny knows all about my hopeless crush.

Hey Rukia, try using the damned door next time.

Does Bleach always start off with these recaps? I love getting a good old reminder, because I have a memory which contests that of Dory from Finding Nemo (as in, its not even qualified to be called a memory ability). I do have an inkling that the constant revisions of the past episode may irk some people, exciting moments from the reminder sequence includes seeing Ichigo looking kind of sad, Rukia standing on the window ledge as opposed to using the door like normal people and Rukia making Ichigo go BAN ZAI (oh ho, did you see that) instead of being Ichigo. So in this actual episode, Karakura town is under attack by Men in white coats. Instead of wanting to take you to the local mental institution, they want to eat your souls and kill torches, because Shakugan no Shana taught us that Torches totally need to be killed and stuff.

/fanboy squeal

The Date of Rukia’s execution…Has been Changed!

In high level anime fights, its important that all the heroes can sense strong power auras. This is kind of like when Kakashi can instantly tell there’s an enemy ninja or when Goku knows Freeza is approaching. Rukia is different though, she uses what I call the “Nintendo Gameboy SP” to detect where all the bad guys are coming from. Lets face it, Rukia’s hell trendy, but she needs to get one of those DS Lites (mmm those things are sexy). Rukia and Ichigo are kind of like a Married Couple, which make their on screen chemistry somewhat refreshing and humorous. I’d like to continue with this warm and light-hearted notion, but the Gameboy is telling Rukia that some lvl 99 Ghost Monsters are in their town about to kill their mans (usually a bad thing in the gaming world). I also love how Ichigo reacts to Rukia, its like she just told him, “I’m having your baby”.

Uh oh the GB SP crashed, time to upgrade to a DS Lite.

Rukia: “Ichi-hun, I’m calling our baby Bandit Keith…IN AMERICA!”

Now that the “Arrancar” (which I might add is not a type of automobile) are in town, the local Death Gods are mobilizing and ready to engage. In shounen anime code, this usually mean Pretending to look surprised, jump off shit and fly or eat tic tacs to discard of their bodies so they can revert to Super Ownage Death God Modez (wow fuck its awesome). The audience is then taken to a Shota Captain and his Super big breasted Liutenant, I could write something about hilariously sexy and inappropriate this pairing is, but I think you guys kind of giggle whenever you see this anyway. Then two really stupid looking Arrancar appear, I mean seriously, those Hat things they wear look like they belong in a freaking Mardi Gras parade as opposed to a combat situation.

You’d mistake them as mother and son.

Not pictured: Bad guys who actually look cool

If Gravity had balls, these two Arrancar would have kicked it straight in the family jewels. Basically, who needs to stand on the ground? Standing on solid matter is for losers, so like all Stupid looking hat wearing bad guys stand on nothing but thin air. The great thing about Shounen is that I can choose sides I want to support, and I always feel good for cheering for the good guys. I am cheering for Captain Hitsugaya and Big Boobs Liutenant this time because these two Arrancar clowns really look ridiculous. The first one wearing the Teapot hat tries to get teh Shota captain (what a fag), Histugaya takes none of that shit. He deflects the hit faster than you can say “Hitsugaya-kun Kawaii~~”. The Fat Arrancar tries to get the jump on Rangiku’s oversized boobs, but to no success. Maybe if he lost some goddamned weight, he might actually suck less (I doubt it though).

Captain Hitsugaya is the true SHOUNEN (har har)

Do you smell what the Shota is Cooking?

Viewers are also sympathetic to Sado in this episode, I think he’s a really cool character, I mean who doesn’t want a Megaton Arm ability? He’s got this comradeship going with Ichigo, and it felt kind of bad seeing him beat himself up like that because he wasn’t strong enough to take on this ratty looking Arrancar. But I am optimistic, Sado will probrably able to spawn a Battlecruiser arm in later stages and Yamato Cannon everything (here’s to hoping). Then its just back to Rukia and Ichigo, it was awesome seeing Rukia in her combat mode again, the last time I saw her in her combat garb was definitely too long ago. When I said Rukia was a trendy girl, seems I was right, she even uses popular tic tac things called, “Chappy”. Chappy is actually a lip balm where I live, so maybe as she eats it, it moisturizes her lips too (those Death Gods get everything).

“Get your own Brazillian Hottie, smiley face” (In before Yaoi fans)

The New “Facehugger” Alien hatches with great success.

The great thing about this episode is without a doubt the two Rukias at the same time (I nearly passed out from overexcitement). What did horrify me, was of course the “PYONs” which her clone was uttering everytime Rukia did something cool. There was another of those hubby moments when Ichigo got all worried when the Ratty looking Arrancar lunged at Rukia (sexual tension, lol). This arrancar did introduce himself in the episode, but I didn’t reall bother to remember his name because he had ugly teeth (at least I did remember something about him). After some boasting by the Arrancar, Rukia had enough with that shit. So she called on her Zanpaktou (did I do that right?), Rukia’s special ability was as impressive as I imagined it would be, minus the Moe blushing and rainbow unicorns (I can’t have Everything). Like all retarded bad guys, this Arrancar decided to act all like, “zomg wtf Im going to get K’Oed” instead of actually moving out of the way.

Lol’ing too hard to think of a caption.

Hey I know, lets all stand in the clearly dangerous white light!

Rukia’s ability summons like a Light abyss which freezes her opponents, maybe its some elaborate metaphor to describe her icy nature or maybe that she’s just fucking “cool” (Pun very intended). Bad Teeth arrancar, decides to fly to avoid certain death, to Rukia’s pleasure. Apparently the Light abyss can freeze even air, I don’t know what sorcery this is, but its definitely Imba. With that, Ratty arrancar is forever destroyed and the heroine may now retire to her home for a warm cup of tea, and biscuits. Ichigo, who obviously has a lot of faith in his wife’s abilities (lets face it, they may as well be married) is STUNNED by the fact that she not only survived the Arrancar’s attack but also Ice-Queened his ass back to the Void. Rukia’s clone then proceeds to give some soliloquoy about how awesome and pure Rukia’s sword is among the other Death Gods which took a bit too long. It’s really okay to say, “That be Rukia, and thats her Sword of Heavenly Purity, piss her off and she’ll go commando on your ass Pyon~”.

He doesn’t use Colgate or Oral-B. Fail.

Pyon~ Pyon~ Pyon~ Pyon~ Pyon~

Finally, I actually get to see a couple of this Arrancar fellows that don’t look like they just got rejected from a B-grade movie audition. Grimjaw’s in town and according to the totally fuckstunned expressions on Rukia and Ichigo’s face I can tell this guy’s Ray-At-Soo is at a scouter breaking level. I think the guy overdid it with the Eyeshadow, but I guess they have all an new fashion style in the Hueco Mondo (where they obviously eat tacos and have siestas everyday). The remaining Arrancar include the token pretty boy, which should have been paired against Yumichika the Death God pretty boy. The final Arrancar looks like his mother was bear and his father was a rooster, that hair is beyond any commercial product, so it has to be generic and I don’t understand the Nose mask, the eye parts are a bit too low (I mean, they are not even covering his eyes, and so it looks like a really silly looking fake moustache).

Don’t tell me. He is one of the GOOD guys, I am sure of it.

The Date of Rukia’s Execut-Wait, I’ve already used this joke.

Pretty boy Arrancar’s ability includes not looking at his opponent, and knocking away Renji’s chained sword with one hand (so this makes him totally cool and powerful, apparently). RoosterBearMan (not to be confused with Manbearpig) has the following abilities, not being able to introduce himself, suck spirit energy like a vacuum cleaner and splurge on red hair dye. Ikkaku the Bald Hero stumbles across one of Ichigo’s classmate during his encounter against RoosterBearMan, and because this is Bleach, it means he has time to take a break from his world-breaking epic battle to exchange a few light hearted words with him. In exchange for saving the obviously pitiful and scared shitless boy, Ikkaku demanded only a place to stay and rest for a few days. Not that he had much of a choice, but we can all agree that letting a couple of potential crazy Death Gods chill out at your place sure beats getting your soul consumed by an “Arrancar” that looks like he is about to dip your body into Salsa sauce for a snack.

Its just a regular night in this generic shounen suburb.

Ice Ice Baby

Stop. Collabarate and Listen. Rukia’s back with her new invention.

Overall, definitely a fun episode to watch and I am genuinely curious to see the outcome of this battle in the following episodes. It was definitely a huge boon to see Rukia and her kickass sword, if I recall correctly, the last I saw her, she was in some God-forsaken tower waiting to die. In my opinion, this definitely beats waiting to get executed (but its okay, Ichigo played Knight in Shining armour anyway). To be honest, my personal liking for Rukia has a lot to do with her chemistry alongside Ichigo. When you put the two together, there’s a lot of sexual tension, a lot of unspoken understanding its kind of that borderline serious/platonic relationship confusion. Though I wouldn’t call myself an “IchiRuki” shipper (Is what the forum dudes are calling it, I think), the two of them together definitely make the show enjoyable. Hell, Renji thrown in just makes it even more awesome too.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz

PS: Retsgip will return in about 9 days or so (Or else)