Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz puts on his sadfase Vaizard mask

Score: Fillertastic/10

Right now, at this very moment, I should be studying for my Business Ethics exam. Rets is probrably reading this in Hawaii (and laughing at me), but you know what, I think I need to take some time out to completely rag on Bleach. Our friend Danny’s already covered it with bells and whistles, but I think that this filler arc really needs some work, but some scenes did pull some saves. Before some of you facepalm and point out that all fillers fail regardless, I think they worked Kariya into the Ichigo/Self-fight scene relatively well. This just seems like a step backwards to what I thought was an improving trend of filler-integration into the main storyline.

Where are storyline episodes Shinji?

Xbox-Hueg Hands

To be honest, the filler episode started off relatively nicely. I mean I usually won’t complain watching a Fang-tan loli vaizard beating on Ichigo, even if it’s just another gratuitious training scene. Being the completely talentless vaizard-in-training, we of course get to see Hiyori model her footwear on Ichigo’s clueless face most of the time. I want to be honest here, Ichigo’s progressed a lot in his fight against the forces of evil. Aside from his spirit powers, it seems that training in an underground spirit dimension also augments your physical size, namely your hands. After poorly deflecting Hiyori’s Rasengan blast, Ichigo surprises the audience with Hands so big, that I thought that there was another guy off-screen who helped him put on the vaizard mask. It wouldn’t surprise me if it was the latter, a little blonde chibi-chan wants to kill you and your family, who has the time to put on some silly mask? Not Ichigo.

“This IS my mask, stop asking!”

Let’s talk about Ichigo’s sisters

Why not? It’s not like we are missing any important plot elements anyway. I’d like to discuss Ichigo’s little sisters. Its okay, put your phones which are set to speed-dial the FBI down, its not going to involve any discussion of those sorts. I’ve always been partial to Yuzu, I really like her sweet, motherly and adorable nature. She’s kind of the dream little sister everyone wishes for, always concerned, always wanting to please (put the phone down) and definitely an awesome cook. In this episode however, they show her with baggy eyes, but to the extent that they are blue-back. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought some fiend punched her in the face. Then there’s Hardass Karin, I think Karin’s one of those girls which will grow up to be a Mercernary or Chopper Pilot or something. She doesn’t worry at all, and is obviously the balancing counterpart to Yuzu. But seriously, if someone told her Ichigo was going to get his ass Arrancar-ed, I think she’ll just shrug and chug down a fucking beer or something. Damn, she’s badass. In conclusion, Yuzu’s the sweet homemaker and Karin’s the badass heartbreaker (or Ballbreaker).

Alright, who made little princess CRY!?

Oh was that you Karin? Never mind.

One of the scenes which saved the filler episode from complete failure was Isshin remarking what Ichigo was doing at the moment of his disappearance. I could totally relate to what he was saying, I too felt that as a High Schooler, that the world against me and running away from home in my school uniform was the most logical course of action. Also, its always a good idea to hang around SCHOOL (damn schools are so cool!) at night as a statement to how rebellious you are. Also, running to the beach and cursing the poor oceans (sea currents have feelings too) in a manly way are all fond teenage memories I hold in my heart. When was the last time you swore at an Ocean and/or Mountain to express Rebellion!? He then remarked that it was mating season, so this is why Ichigo is doing all these things. Yeah, because to find love in the mating season, a normal teenager would don his school clothes and hang out in the school yard. He also worries that Rukia hasn’t returned home, he makes the same face and pose I make whenever the Bleach manga fails to update me on Rukia’s progress (Damn you Kubo Tite).

Rebellious teenagers. In mating season. In Japan.

This also applies to the current developments of the manga. Damnit KT.

The secret to powering up…

In the following scene, Hitsugaya and company stand around a park contemplating just how hard their asses are going to get served when the next batch of Saiyans arrive from Namek. In the bounto arc, there was always a sense of urgency, for fillers, it still had some pace and shit was happening. With this one, the pace went from Arrancar-Power right to Snail-Sleep. Hitsugaya is the only one there which looks like he has something important to say, could be his black shirt, who knows. He exclaims that they must all train in order to defeat the arrancar. Yeah, thats cool, but where was the urgency? They are all chilling in the park with their new GAP apparel. I did not know this, but as a Shinigami, you power up by standing in a park with cool fashion. Yeah, It Really was as easy as that. I feel so stupid as well.

Gay vibes are Gay.

Don’t be fooled, they are actually getting stronger by the second.

After that inspiring speech to go do some hardcore preparation to counter the impending Arrancar invasion, Matsumoto found it within her warrior spirit, do some serious shopping. You will never know when those bastard arrancar will swoop away that nifty sales deal on the blouse you’ve been eyeing for so long. So this is just one thing I didn’t get, what they could have done here instead was of course, to show some kind of training between Matsumoto, Ikkaku and Yumichika. It would be obligatory, but then watching two shinigamis fight beats the shit out of watching a girl do her shopping. I get enough of that in real life, and if shopping increases your fighting skills, then most of my ladyfriends would probrably beat the living shit out of me anyday (A thought which both puzzles and terrifies me at the same time, seeing as their blows already make me shatter anyway). Somebody walked into my room whilst the Matsumoto-solo-fashion show / Shopping sequence was underway and he asked, “Shaun, I thought you said you were watching Bleach”, to which I looked at him with a really sad face going, “This is Bleach, Dattebayo”.

It’s not even Swimsuits, this is like a nightmare.

Ridiculously hard to fap to Paris Originals, namely because it’s just too classy.

Goddamn, that sequence was long, am I watching Bleach or the freaking runway of the Paris Spring Fashion show? Once we see Matsumoto modelling this season’s finest, we can finally get to the fillertastic parts of this arc. Namely, this time, she picks up an Ocarina. At least I think it’s an ocarina, anyway, you blow into it and it makes a sound which obviously summons an evil spirit from ages past. Being the good blower she is, Matsumoto proceeds to call on some evil hollow which was slumbering for tens of thousands of years (Who would have thought!??!). She takes out her Hello Kitty Samsung Gx990 and tries to locate the hollow, and maybe complain about how shitty the reception is. Its time for action, and so she replaces herself with her Gigai. Her gigai self is more retarded than Rukia’s PYON gigai, a feat I thought impossible (Surprise me, Bleach. Surprise me).

You’re so good at blowing things, Matsumoto. You can make such nice music.

/fangirl squeal etc.

She finds the source of the spiritual disturbance and to nobody’s surprise, it happens to be a Hollow, but with a twist. The thing is a hybrid, Half hollow, Half arrancar in spiritual energy pattern. My researchers are still not sure, but this Hollow may be part Spanish as well. After beating the living shit out of an Arrancar previously, Matsumoto struggles with this Failancar (Its my new adorable pet name for it). To outline just how pissweak the Hollow was, the filler directors even threw a annoying brat into the mix, and he was more than happy to charge headstrong into the Failancar. He may be a brat, but he has the courage of a thousand men (Bless you, you crazy son of a bitch). Meanwhile Matsumoto fails to land any critical or lethal hits on the Failancar, only to be rescued by Ikkaku mid-air. How could she have gone from being a kickass liutenant to a rookie powered shinigami so quickly? I am blaming it on Furries, just like Kabitzin would.

Fifi, its time for your bath. Don’t be such a bitch about it, damned mutt.

This Boy was forced to become a “Man” at such a young age. *tears of manliness*

After slaying the would be Half-Hollow/Arrancar, they all decide to go back and perform a soul burial for the boy. Before that, Matsumoto smothers him between the massive breasts as punishment for calling her an “Old Lady”, what would happen if I called her a “Fossil”? I can only hope for nothing less than smothering and/or rape. Yeah, before I forget, she has to go grab her Gigai before they leave for real. This is all much to the disappointment of the shopkeeper, who was about to get laid (I really feel sorry for him). Meanwhile, in Soul society, Ukitake gets a report about the Failancar and he adopts the stereotypical “This is serious business, even though it is not related to the main storyline” face, this is the same face which commands me to stab my arms with fork and spoons. I also like how he said, “We must first analyze the report”. We all know what this means, it means next episode there will be a ten minute sequence where they sit down and go, “This is…… /Totally shocked face”.

Replace Matsumoto with Ichigo and Shouta with Rukia. GASP RE-ENACTMENT!!!

“Taichou! Something moderately important has come up!”

Soul Burial Time - End this shit

So they finally get back to homebase, and they sit around the boy to perform the ceremony. I was sitting on my chair, sipping my Schweppes ‘Agrum’ maniacally. “Finally, they cut him up and send him to the big fishbowl in the sky”, I thought to myself in some kind of twisted red tinge. Like all filler brats, before he goes or disappears, he must be a total asswipe and make everyone angry at him. But the best part was about to come, he reveals his name to be “Shouta” (technically, he doesn’t do this till the very end, but who cares). Yes, “Shouta”, I couldn’t come up with such a lame name even if I tried. Even if I was in a Nazi torture chamber and they were about drive me over with a Panzer, I would not have even come up with that shit. Hmm, lets see, a small young boy, lets call him “Shouta”. I know its fillers, but they are not even trying with the filler main character’s name? Call him Jean Claude, call him Shinji Ikari, Hell call him Son Goku for all I care (anything BUT a play on the word “Shota”).

Yumichika decides to pull the “Yaranaika” routine on the Shouta.

“No fucker calls me Captain Kawaii~-chan and gets away with it!”

I’d like to point out to readers that at this point, I wasn’t sipping my citrus drink anymore, rather I was waving the glass bottle around like a crazed desert warlord about to raid a village. One guy felt my pain, he too was angry, his name was Hitsugaya Toshirou. I mean, he was about to bury that boy for good, but before our hero could do what we all wanted him to do, Matsumoto stops him. I let out a groan which would have landed me a part in the new Resident Evil movie. As my dreams of watching Shouta disappear into oblivion shatter, we are brought to a scene where he foolishly tries to run away with Matsumoto’s Zanpaktou. In the meantime, the annoying whistle sound is back, and guess who’s back? back again? It’s not slim shady, but the annoying Failancar. He can’t even stay dead properly, I guess I should rename him to Uberfailancar.

Please Die a painful, horrible and nightmarish death.

The Best scene award in this entire episode goes to:

The Ending! Looking at the picture of all the Karakura Highschool girls, with Rukia at the very back in full blushing mode was the best thing in this entire episode. I would have preferred an episode where they showed us nothing but Rukia and Orihime “studying” or “combat-training” for twenty four minutes. Guys, put up your hands if you would have preferred watching some kind of Quasi-Lesbian moment between Orihime and Rukia? I said put up your hands, not your torpedoes, seriously, ten minutes of Orihime in the bath and ten minutes of Rukia in the bath and it would have gotten this episode at least an eight from me (no action even required). I guess the fillers came at the right time, my exam period. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be downloading the episodes for “completion”, but I think when it comes to Fillers….I just can’t stomach them when they are served with such a lack of innovation.

Wooo! Look at Rukia blush!

Cheers,

Darkshaunz

PS: Rets is in Hawaii for 2 weeks (Lucky bastard). I’ve got exams for 2 weeks. So this is one of those Hiatus things.