Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz tastes the lightning

There’s something sweet about the end of this month, and that is, in one day, the meaning of life gets rewritten and this blog’s favourite shounen is back on track with the manga-related material. I’ve been crying out for Rukia for the last few weeks, and like an elated puppy who’s nee-san has finally returned to cuddle it in the valley of warmth for the first time in ages, a half-smirking grin fills my face. The existentialist blabbering from before obviously relates to the fact that the new eva movie remake (first in a series of four), gets its nationwide premier on the first of September. That little spark inside me is just reacting to the electricity filling the air at the moment. The flashes of my ten year old gaze at Rei Ayanami in volume three of the NGE manga is haunting my mind once again, red and blue never looked more beautiful.

Oh Misato, I can’t wait to get you drunk all over again.

Bleach gets back on track

It’s hard to believe that just a couple of weeks before, we had to contend with the likes of Failface and his company of loserheads. However, there was rejoicing as the studio animators decided to put us out of our misery, and re-lead the series back unto the track of awesomeness. The episode starts off with Aizen and his greasy head of hair unleashing the powers of the Ho-Cube. Apparently, the Ho-Cube can still get pimpslapped even at 50% sluttiness, if Aizen gives it enough “lovin” from a Captain’s “Reiatsu” (His manhood, pretty much). This allows the Ho-Cube to “release” (orgasm) at full potential, if only for a brief moment. After this act of deliberate misinterpretation of sexual innuendo, Aizen and Ho-Cube give birth to their new Arrancar child. I forget, but I think his name was Weiss, and he is a special one. Of course, in my terms, special one roughly equates to, “What do you get when you mate a shoe and a brick?”. I also like how there’s this massive black shadow covering his naughty bits. Is it because his naughty bit is so large (but invisible), and is why it’s throwing a massive shadow? Only time will tell.

He is raping me with his eyes. HELP!!!

Parental Advisory Recommended.

Most of the episode is dedicated to Rukia and Orihime training in Soul Society. I personally liked this sequence of scenes where the two ladies are exchanging encouraging blows in what looks like enjoyable, investing and serious training. Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes at my spastic fanboy-ery, but I assure you that it’s not because I finally get to see Rukia, or the fact that Orihime’s boobs look tight in that yellow sweater, and her skirt is revealing of Healthy legs either (honest!). It’s to do with Orihime and Rukia getting to bond, not often do we get to see the two of them get stuck into it for a common cause, and really have a hearty comrade to comrade session. In a sense, I hope this knocks some sense into the ferocious “shipping” scene occurring at the moment. Here, we have what seems to be two adversarial women, supposedly in contention for a certain “Strawberry”, bearing no ill will to each other when the opportunity presented itself for some bottled-up hate to finally be unleashed in one Kamahameha (or Sokatsui, whatever)…it simply doesn’t happen.

Rukia shows Orihime what she will be using for her “Training”.

I really like where this is going. Really, really, really like.

In addition to this, it also was an opportunity for viewers to see a different side to Orihime. I enjoy the fact that she’s finally getting her soldier boots on and very eager to make a difference in the inevitable winter war. When she had a serious look on her during the Soul Society arc, it seemed goofy, and that may have been reflected from her rather light-hearted take on the whole “lets rescue Rukia” affair. The Orihime of this arc is definitely different, she carries a whole new air of confidence and determination which helps add to the credibility that she isn’t just legs and boobs (those help too, of course). Rukia and Orihime are meant to be training, but what is evident, is Orihime’s lack of offensive spells, she is kind of like the Starcraft player that surrounds herself with Photon cannons and doesn’t bother attacking. Rukia was more than happy to exploit Orihime’s defensive strategy by nuking her with continuous “Blue Crash Downs”. The attack itself is cool, but the name of the attack is kind of weird. It sounded like it was named after a Fighter Pilot who crashed in a Prairie or after a Whale with down syndrome.

“My Kidou brings all the boys to the yard.”

“Damn right, it’s better than yours!”

Overlooking the two heavenly bodies clashing in a cosmic dance of light, was Captain Ukitake. We know him as the sickly Captain who seems to be losing his fight with AIDS/Cancer/SARS or a combination of all three. However, on this fine and clear Soul Society day, he seemed very well and happy. The answer was clear, all he needed was to sit down on grass and watch two beautiful ladies slam it out whilst drinking some green tea. Like some retired pimp reminiscing all days of Ho-herding, it was almost something therapeutic for the soft-hearted Captain. Hisagi interrupts Ukitatake’s silent robe-fapping, to give him the latest issue of Soul Society PlayCaptain, and on this month’s cover was the Captain-Commander himself (I don’t really like where this is going). Hisagi uses this chance to explain to the audience that back in the day, Tousen did all the work and left nothing much for a liutenant like him in terms of work. However, these days, the Liutenant picks up the slack and finds himself very busy (much like Shiba Kaien when Ukitake had super AIDS). This brief allows us to see that life pretty much goes on in Soul Society despite losing three figurehead captains, and allows Hisagi to appreciate the art of watching to hot women go at it like tigresses in the wild (You can tell I enjoyed it).

“Proceed as planned”.

Captain-Commander Pin-up edition.

Then viewers are transferred to the obligatory Hiyori and Ichigo training sequence. This involves Hiyori calling everyone in the room a dickhead or idiot, and Ichigo getting his strawberry ass kicked so hard, that most of the time, he is laying on a pile of rubble, muttering in all his dissent. What I did like about this training sequence was the suggestion that Ichigo was borrowing Porn mags from Lisa. Now, I am not sure how he concentrates on training. He has a delicious pseudo-loli beating him up (some kind of kinky bondage), then he has this Glasses-wearing, sailor-uniform wearing hottie which is into perverted artbooks. If it were me, it’d be nothing but “one handed training”, I’d be swinging my sword all night long. The crew stop for a lunch break in which the loser will be penalized by having to do the dishes, obviously since Ichigo blows hard at the moment, he will have to cop the penalty. It is at this time that the Arrancar-baddies begin their early skirmish into our humble planet Earth to terrorize little children and just be plain jackasses. Nothing to note here, except that they are being led by Luppi, the new Sixth Espada. He’s a trap guys, so pull your pants back up.

Emiya Shirou, that you buddy?

You’re lying if you say you wouldn’t hit it (Lisa, not Apron-wearing Ichigo).

There’s something disturbingly hot about this guy, its making me squeamish.

Captain Shouta’s attachment of cronies are trying to materialize their zanpaktous, something which neither Captain Shouta nor Ikkaku need to do. So we are left with, “Superfabulous” Yumichika and “Valley of the Gods” Rangiku to fluster about why their swords so eerily represent their own personalities, resulting in a calvacade of extreme failure to materialize. It is at this crucial moment of whining that the sky literally opens to them. That is the next thing mankind needs to invent, a sky-dimensional-opener which those Arrancar have. If we can invent the Aeroplane and the Toothbrush, surely something which distorts the very fabric of dimensional astrophysics woud be a piece of cake for us. Enough innovation talk, more Arrancar invasion time. Four Arrancar are deployed to intercept and eliminate the shinigami on Earth. Luppi the delicious trap (Why Haruhi, why!??), Weiss the retard (but awesome), Yammy and One-armed Grimmjaw (who reminds me of Alternate Future Gohan). Grimmjaw goes off to find Ichigo, and does so successfully. The episode ends with Ichigo Bankai’ing and ready to show off his new powers. Rukia is dispatched from Soul Society to give the clowns on Earth some assistance.

Serious training. Not Pictured here.

One four all and All four one.

The closest relative to Slowpoke and Psyduck.

Fly me to the Moon

Let us once again play amongst the stars. September First is a date many Evangelion fans around the world, both new and old have been waiting for. Finally, we awaken from our twelve year slumber across the ages. How the anime scene has changed, the introduction of all these new weaaboo-tastic buzz words to describe genre conventions has an old dog like limping to keep up with the frantic pace. Yet, despite all the changes, Evangelion is still Evangelion. By now, if you have not seen the two trailers showcasing the first eva movie remake, then I suggest you do and seize the moment, for it really does look like everything we have come to hope from Anno’s second run-in with Tokyo-3. Some of the concern was with the changing of characters to “fit the mainstream interest” as Anno first announced in his Official Press Release, however it seems that TEH REI still looks very sexy, Misato and Ritsuko still induce boners, Ikari Gendou is also still the silent badass he always was, and most importantly….Shinji’s still Shinji, he looks a bit more determined in one of the trailer sequences, but there’s the aura of vulnerability encompassing him.

Purple is the new Black. Again.

I love eyepatches. Mmm, especially if its on Rei.

Going by the trailers, the animation quality is as I would have expected: Glossy, Polished and Fluid. After years of leeching my wallet due to countless Evangelion-related merchandise hawking by Gainax, I frankly would have been disappointed otherwise. It was obviously a relief that the Studio used their money where it was truly required, in the movie itself, and not to the Marketing department for them to attach a picture of Rei to the latest Gainax Sterling Kitchenware range they are surely to release when the first movie hits theaters in Gundamland tomorrow. Every evangelion fan will know that once the movie is subbed and available to the public. Old wounds will re-open, Ancient mysteries will surface once again and the inevitable will happen: Fan sites will pop up from the shadows, Forums will wage war against other Forums on indoctrinated symbolism Evangelion of the old and new may represent, Shippers will start cocking their E-rifles to argue against which chick Shinji really loved (when we know he wanted Kaworu, that player) and more importantly, I can start saving money for that Gold-Plated Life Size Rei doll which will be the centerpiece of my room (Yeah, because that’s popular with the ladies - In my dreams).

The question: Is Shinji still using his bloody S-DAT?

I hope he will be smiling more in the remakes.

So, my Dear readers, how will you celebrate a triumphant victory tomorrow? Naysayers have been ragging us for supporting the Gainax milking-train since we were but teens, and now we are getting the ultimate payoff. I would not recommend Graffiti-ing the local town hall with, “ZOMG TEH REI REITURNZ!” nor would I recommend ordering a Life-size scale Eva unit from Ebay Japan. Personally, I will be going out for a leisurely stroll with Evangelion in my mind, I’ll entertain thoughts of “why are we truly here?” and maybe tune out to Utada Hikaru’s pleasant rendition of Fly me to the moon, just to warm the old engine up to the mindset I had back when I was young boy. It does feel strange, however, does it not? I feel as if that even if it is new, it is very much nostalgic at the same time. It gives me this impression that Time has stopped but for a brief reprise, to catch it’s temporal breath as it may….just enough for us to remember back in the day when anime was just more than moeblobs, conventions or the Tsundere archetypes, back in the day when the only nit we picked as a community was that Spike Spiegel was wayyy too bad ass for the likes of us, and for the older, when “Moe” was defined by Astro Boy (he shoots bullets from his ass, it’s adorable). That’s not to say that Evangelion version 2.0 will share the spotlight with inferior titles of our present, but rather, it will be a Knight in Shining Armour riding alongside the sleek Honda Integras, an old girl who has found it’s spark and turning heads once again.

Must….resist…overwhelming urge to….fap-*faints*

I wonder what Spring is like on Jupiter and Mars? I bet it rains LCL over in those places.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz

PS: Teh Rei Rocks!!!