Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz looks forward to the coming installments

There’s not much to talk about in this week’s Bleach episode. It’s your typical transition-to-main arc fare which just outlines the things we should expect in the coming weeks. There’s no score attached because there was nothing as such to score. Animation and all that shit came through looking decent, but it’s great to see Ishida and Chad getting into the big picture again. Reminds me of when Bleach was at it’s peak, Soul Society arc. Can this new arc lead us into the land of awesome?

“It’s South American Cotton, like the feel?”

Stranger Danger!

When we last left Ichigo, he was feeling like a sack of crap. I can understand this feeling, not because I’ve been in a sack of crap ever, but because one day during university, my favourite take away sushi (smoked salmon) was sold out. My whole world was in complete darkness and I screamed in pain and agony (before campus security tasered me). But I was in DESPAIR! DESPAIR at this smoke-salmonless sushi world! That’s how Ichigo is feeling right now, except replace the salmon sushi with Orihime Inoue (they call me the King of analogies). So when he feels sad, he isolates himself from the few remaining people around him to who care for him. This guy has the Midas touch of misery, when people get close to him, they either get recaptured for execution, kidnapped for power experimentation or are forced to fight in the name of comradeship and justice. No wonder seeing him smile is as rare as looking from a smile from Shinji Ikari.

“First Rukia, now Orihime, does Ichigo gonna have to rescue yet another bitch!?”

Ichigo has really devoted and loyal friends with him. Tatsuki and the two guys (forgot their names) decide to tail Ichigo after Tatsuki Falcon Punch’d Ichigo’s face into a Glass pane. In Japan, it is common to apologize to a person for punching the living shit out of them, not by saying “Sorry”, but by stalking their ghost around the town. If this is the case, I’d hate to see how they say “Thank you” over there, maybe you are expected to stalk them back or something. These three individuals have amazing stalking skills, and by amazing, I mean of course as good a stalker as a land whale on a colourful train crossing the rail tracks in broad daylight. It was a wonder at all that Ichigo didn’t notice THREE people tailing his back the entire time, it’s good to see that his Shinigami situational awareness is working very well (or not at all, in our case). To nobody’s surprise, they end up at Urahara’s place. The door is also conveniently left open for them. That’s not suspicious at all! Another notable scene is the implied S&M of Tatsuki and that other guy.

You should do this to your closest friends, to scare the shit out of them.

Tatsuki is sexiest when she is angry, just like Haruhi…mmmm

Now it’s time for Ichigo, Chad and Ishida to disembark on their journey to Hueco Burrito. Urahara, who is now the series’ interdimensional airport manager, will perform the rights necessary to open the gates to Hell. His instructions are simple, he will open the gate, and the trio must manipulate the spirit particles in their midst to form a spirit road or something. They must also run towards the Darkness. Wait a minute, run towards the darkness? The whole path is a Black and endless void of empty space, how would they know which darkness is the right darkne-huh? How the fuck does any of this make any sense? Anyway, Ichigo, Chad and Ishida all nod in confidence as if to say that they know exactly where to go and that I am the biggest tard on the internetz for not knowing how the three of them will go in the direction of Darkness in a place which is completely pitch black. Urahara’s chant to open the gates to Hueco Mondo was also weird, it sounded like it was written by a guy who loved long hair and chairs. Oh and Ichigo’s buddies tailed him all the way into the training room, where Urahara announced to them that he has a “job to do”.

Is there anything he can’t open?

She sadly sees what you did there.

Unaware of the train of pain destined to arrive soon, the inhabitants of Las Nachos decide that having a big-breasted redhead in their midst is awesome. King Aizen, who is sitting his 70s ass comfortably on his throne of bel-air, checks his new bitch out. I am pretty sure he likes what he sees and is all like, “Dayum, dat one fine ass”. After jerking off, he proceeds to welcome her formally like some ambassador and then gets straight to business. Aizen wants a demonstration of Inoue’s power (in bed), and hastily commands her to heal Grimmjaw’s arm. Grimmjaw was obviously intrigued at the idea of getting his whack-off hand back immediately in time for the latest issue of Play-Arrancar. Then it’s up to Orihime to use her crazy-ass powers (which I think is super hacks) to completely restore Grimmjaw’s arm. The former sixth was gleaming in surprise and delight, and tells Inoue to heal his scarred-over 6th symbol. He then proceeds to kill Luppi (Nooo!) and takes his position back in a glorious cero lightshow.

*Orihime has joined the game* Capt. Aizen: Sup lol

*Grimmjaw has reconnected to the server*

*Grimmjaw [fucking stabbed] Luppi* [6th] Luppi: ^%#^ hacker!

Meanwhile in Garganta (something like that), which is the path to Hueco Mondo, viewers get to see the amazing sights and sounds of the trail. It’s as scenic as the concrete walls covering my room. There’s nothing in it, except for the weird smog of spirit particles and what I call the Sugar-Icing road which Ichigo created by his shitty manipulation of spirit particles. It’s a miracle at all that Ichigo and poor Chad (who can’t make the road) have survived this far in the abyss of nothingness. In fact, Ichigo’s work is so shoddy that Chad nearly falls into the eternal darkness. Ishida however, is practicing for his audition for the Silver Surfer in the next Fantastic Four movie. I thought I seen it all, but it’s quite a sight to see a Glasses-wearing guy wearing a male version of the sailor uniform riding a Sugar-icing skateboard gliding across the black void. This was one of those Kodak moments in the Bleach anime, where Kubo Tite is saying to all his fans, “This scene is fucking awesome”. They question Ishida about why he is helping even though he isn’t supposed to, and the gist of it was that he could roll with them as long as he got home before 11pm or else Daddy Quincy will ground him.

How the hell does he know where to go? what the hell is going on?

Chad can’t believe he might die even before the arc starts. AGAIN.

Surfing the unlimited darkness on a sugar-icing board, totally normal for a teenager.

Ishida’s dad (I am bad with names), decides to check out the training grounds and sees a paper note laying on a stub. He already “knows” what the letter was going to say, because he is the cool, intelligent and sexy archetype character in this series. In fact I am pretty confident that if a fangirl wrote, “I lovee youuu!!!” on a piece of paper during the episode, he would stop to wink at the fangirl (yeah, that fucking player). It must have been Father’s Day on Bleach because Ichigo’s dad (Isshin), turns up to have a friendly chat with Ishida’s dad. In his Shinigami garb, no less. The two discuss how despite their near-DBZ power levels, lost their wives and any chance of getting laid in the future. Their relationship seems to be pretty mutual, despite the history of Quincy versus Shinigami. Ishida’s dad remarks that Isshin is sucking at the father role, and Isshin smugly agrees. It is entirely possible that these two old men know the deal, and if they chose to get involved…it would be pretty epic. You’d have a pair of Father/Son fighting the espada. Reminds me of the days of seeing Gohan and Goku fight alongside each other.

Oh God, the picture which will haunt my dreams starting from today.

Yeah, yeah he’s fucking sexy, we know. Stop trying to turn me gay, Bleach.

The episode ends with a transition to Las Nachos. Orihime has been imprisoned in a boring, but spacious room. There’s nothing to do at all, and the only window is barred with a neverending view of the moon. She reflects on whether or not it was the right thing to do in healing Grimmjaw’s arm, despite Grimmjaw inflicting a lot of damage towards Ichigo in their previous engagement together. Upon her pondering, she feels massive jolt of spirit power rush over her. Aizen feels this too, but the important thing to note here is Aizen’s MASSIVE couch. This thing is huge, excessively and unnecessarily huge. It resembles more of a Military Radar Dish as opposed to any form of furniture. There is something I am very certain of, however, I definitely want to see the IKEA Catalogue: Hueco Mondo edition. If the couches are as big as my house, I want to see their dining table solutions. If big cars are meant to “compensate” for something, try a fucking two-storey couch.

“I don’t believe it” - Uzumaki Naruto

I’d like to add that I am going to be ridiculously busy in the coming weeks due to University, so I’d only be able to keep up with Bleach despite the new anime season creeping up for some surprise buttsecks. I wish I had the time to even watch some new titles….but it’s okay, all I need is my old DBZ dvds and Bleach to tide me over.

IM IN DESPAIR! DESPAIR AT THIS LACK OF Sayonara ZS SUBS!!!

Cheers,

Darkshaunz

PS: I think retsgip might have disappeared whilst teaching in Japan. Haven’t seen him online in ages. I think the furries finally got him. Spare a prayer for him.