Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz samples this “Pure” Rouge

In collaboration with Abanzai! anime blog

There was no Bleach this week, but I didn’t realize it. I was too busy refreshing Tokyo Toshokan like some deranged hermit about to get laid for the first time (alas, no cake). So you know what this means folks, Hard-drive roulette time. I decided that I was looking for the title which sounded like it would involve an engaging and unique storyline, “Kimikiss-Pure Rouge” sounded like a winner, only because I’ve never seen an anime title like that before. It’s safe to say that the only thing unique about this series so far is its title.

Yes, I see a thought-provoking anime in this picture.

“Pure Rouge”

I wasn’t aware of the many different grades of rouge existent in the world today. Rouge is of course the cosmetic red which is meant to bring out a lady’s beautiful features (mainly their cheeks or lips), it’s French so it automatically makes it sounds more sophisticated and gay at the same time. The creators obviously felt it was important that we know that this series is using PURE Rouge, and I am glad they did. Who knows what the public opinion would have been if it was 10% Nickel and 90% Rouge, or Haruhi Forbid, a lesser-grade of Industrial-Rouge (who is going to watch that shit?). So rest assured folks, we are getting nothing but the best rouge here! Too bad everything else about the series so far reeks of familiarity and sameness.

The OP is typical fanboy fare where all the Kimikiss girls line up so people can pause and snapshot constantly (I am not one of them….honest). Okay, I’ll be honest here, I’d probably hit the dark and long haired chick, Mao-neechan, and the Tsuruya-clone they call Asuka (Bitches playing to my NGE weaknesses). The Splash page for the sponsor companies has Mao in a bikini totally asking for it in the hind. This was the first time I was raging at all the text! I better call marketing and tell them that people want to see the bikini chick, and the sponsor companies are just an annoying cover-cat.

Isn’t this girl from Marimite?

The Hero is another Keitaro

In Japan, if you are a male lead destined to bone a lot of girls, you have to be totally clueless and/or whimpy. Our hero is Kouichi, and he displays as much confidence as a Pot Plant. I have not seen any Rouge yet folks, I was expecting his face to be entirely red or something, but nothing. If I am promised pure rouge I better get it! Like all anime harem male leads, his first exposure to a girl is a hot, sexy young lass who happens to land at the foot of his doorstep. The girl (Mao) is still a mystery to Kouichi, who looked like he was swinging his rod a bit too much the previous night. She magically turns up knowing a lot about his home, mother and even his name. Kouichi’s hair when he just wakes up looks normal to when he has taken a shower. Amazing hair, my just woken-up hair resembles Goku’s Super Saiyan 3 hair.

Look at that macho expression.

This happens to me too, except it’s an old european lady demanding rent.

Like all intrusive guests (I am surprised Kouichi has not called the cops), Mao does everything to abuse the stunned host. Her acts include: Raiding the fridge for drinks, getting the host to tug luggage along for her, molesting the family table and then proceeding to request use of the shower, or demand it I should say. Now picture this happening in your home. If you are a girl reading this, you’d have slapped that bitch into reality and performed citizen’s arrest on her. If you are a guy like me, we’d most likely let her do all those things just so we can whip out the choloform on her later, as “payment” (oh ho ho). Then again, Kouichi has as much spine as a caterpillar, so he not only allows her to use a stranger to use the shower, but even apologizes for walking in on Mao undressing (that was kind of nice, I liked it). Wait a minute, is he retarded? She’s in your house man, she just drank your barley and asked you to tug luggage for her, if you wanna observe her undressing in your house, do it, don’t freaking blush and then close your eyes later in your room and “imagine” it (dumbass).

Tragically, this table lost it’s virginity too early.

That’s one fine piece of work right there.

Then Kouichi’s good friend, Kazuki turns up for the party. This guy is moving the series in the right direction, his hair is kind of red, but it’s got a light brownish hue. This is slightly more rouge than Kouichi’s black hair, so okay, the anime is starting to deliver on it’s promises. Kazuki is here to pick Kouichi up for a movie that their other friend is shooting, and it is Kazuki who realizes that the girl in Kouichi’s home is actually their childhood friend! I know! I totally didn’t expect that! I thought she was his long lost sister or something, and the series would degenerate into some kind of pseudo-incestuous theme. Thankfully I was wrong, and the series is only going to degenerate into a cliche’d choose the childhood friend or choose the new girl on the block. After a heartwarming realization of events, Mao proceeds to hug her two junior guys in her bath towel. Best group of friends ever, it’s so touching….now bring out the chloroform.

“T_T………..-___-” pretty much describes this scene

Mao-neechan, what beautiful “eyes” you have.

Hey girl, they are not legal yet.

There’s the obligatory “Lets meet this Hiiragi dude they rougly mentioned for 2 seconds” scene. Hiiragi’s a green-haired guy, which isn’t helping my confidence on the Pure Rouge promise I was told by the title of this anime. Green isn’t even remotely trying to be rouge, it’s like trying to pass off steak as a banana, it just doesn’t work. On other news, he is a bit eccentric, so he must be the distant cousin of Tsuruya. Then Kazuki and Kouichi have a discussion about girlfriends, apparently Kazuki is frustrated about being single. I hadn’t realized that being single was a source of frustration (Heck, I thought it was the opposite), but then again, young kids these days have all sorts of hormonal-induced trends, an old dinosaur like me would never understand. Upon returning home, Kazuki chats with his adorable sister who seems to be into sexual innuendo (I liked where this is going), Kazuki realizes that Mao was a like a sibling, so nothing was going to “happen”. “But they are unrelated”…..”unrelated”, as the subtitles floated around my screen in contemplation. Yes, we know what you are trying to tell us, Kimikiss: Pure Innuendo.

I’ve yet to meet a person with green hair in real life.

B-b-but they are unrelated!

They actually go to school?

Apparently they do, even Harem lords needs them some edumacations. Taking his time out of his bed-adventures for some learning, kids can learn a lot from Kouichi. In anime, the characters are always conveniently grouped together for the class selections. So it came to no surprise that Kouichi and Kazuki would end up together, and to their dismay, so did Hiiragi (who seemed very eager to be in their class again). Mao gets to her class and introduces herself, and finds herself sitting next to Sasuke, well I think it’s Sasuke. He has this badass, silent and arrogant aura lingering around him like a cologne. He is the candidate which is most likely to fall in love with Mao at the moment, even if you’ve never seen a harem anime in your life, you can see it coming. Mao is already naturally popular with the girls because she lived in France, and once girl think it’s very chic (Did you see what they did there?), Mao, who can’t stand the life of a celebrity, bails out before she can form her personal posse.

Schoolbags aren’t cool anymore.

Maybe I should learn French. But I’m le tired.

This guy should have been the Male Lead.

A Tinge of Rouge at last!

This time it came from Kouichi and this redhead who is even more timid than the Hikkikomori girl from Sayonara Sensei. The Rouge doesn’t stop there my comrades, oh no, the two engage in a blush-war. I am not sure if you’ve ever witnessed one before, but a blush war is where the two parties subconsciously tries to prove to the other party that they are feeling more awkward and embarassed. This results in an impressive light show of red radiating from their faces (only in Japan). The two of them speak in a stutter, and it is obvious that they want to bed each other (love triange in development? obviously). If someone in real life put on that kind of light show whilst stuttering at me, I’d probably have them see a doctor or dial emergency thinking they are about to pass out from too much blood gushing to their face (I’m a real casanova, as you can tell). The scene changes to Kazuki, who realizes that a paper airplane lands around his vicinity, picks it up and opens it. He’s a unique person, because most of us would have shook our fists at the litterbug and then stepped on the paper plane without putting it in the bin.

She looks like she is about to buckle under her own shyness.

“Easy Kouichi Junior, she wants me to do her too, that’s the blush code I’m getting!”

Kiss Kiss Fall in Love

The “Rouge Factor” stopped at the blush-war between Kouichi and Timid-chan, and viewers get the “Kiss” part of the title fulfilled in the final segment of the episode. Basically, Kazuki decides that a real man would pick up the paper airplane, unfold it, examine the contents for the name, ascertain the trajectory of where it came from and then fucking haul ass to return the plane to it’s owner. Despite knowing that the person threw it out in the first place, not just as a clump, but as an aerodynamic structure meant to take the piece of paper as far as the wind could. Kazuki’s unique alright, uniquely retarded, but he’s doing this for a good reason (to get laid). There he meets Futami Eriko, I think, I was too busy having dirty thoughts about his beauty to bother with the name. Aside from Mao, she’s the hottest ticket in this show, her voice is sexy and her “don’t-give-a-shit-but-I-am-a-hot-genius” attitude is going to crack the nutbladders of a lot of guys out there. She has an IQ of a 190, but I wonder how much she scores in the bed (where it really counts, right?).

So very hot.

I’d experiment with her, if you know what I mean.

The episode ends with Kazuki scoring with Eriko, whom wanted to seduce a guy as an “experiment”. Kazuki didn’t chicken out, which is good, which means the path for some hot hot dickings is in order (to the delight of the male audience). I think we all know where this experiment is going, it’s going to turn into, “Oh Kazuki-kun, at first I just wanted to fuck with your sex-dominated male mind, but now I really have feelings for you!” at the end of the series, and the two get married and have like fifteen kids. If you were a fan of the Kimikiss games, then I suggest sticking to the games, the anime adaptation is what you’d expect from a cross-platform port. But if you want to be unique and not jump on the CLANNAD bandwagon like myself (Give us FMP damnit!), then you can be a noncomformist Kimikiss watcher (because that’s totally cool and row row fight da power). If you really must, Follow the series for the beach episode, where Mao and Eriko end up in swimsuits, and prepare a box of tissues.

He even scores before Kouichi, what a winner.

Now show us the scene after Kazuki hits 3rd base.

Bleach note

Fellow Bleachers, new OP for Bleach anime next week! Hopefully it doesn’t suck shit like the current one. The Bleach OPs have just sucked starting from Asterisk (we need more like the first one), I hope they cut it out with the super emo crapfests. Also a word on the Bleach manga, is it just me or are things starting to get boring? We need to see Rukia and Chad immediately. Fans are demanding it, or Kubo’s home is going to get firebombed.

Apparently this is “Cute”, not “Pedo”.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz