Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz Shreds some Baddies.
Score: 9.0/10

We’re back on track after some delays from Kuroneko, folks. Our friends over at Kuro subs delayed and retracted an earlier release of ZnT 11 to rectify some grammatical and editing errors, so that they may present us, Zero fans with a higher quality fansub. I take my hat off to them for their hard work and dedication, without them, we’d be without our daily dose of the Pink Thunder. This latest installment is definitely a positive step up from the previous episode. To put it simply, In this episode, Shit Happens.

Saito is Grinding Teeth like a Real Man would when addressing his Woman.

This episode begins with a sense of normality, like other previous Zero episodes, the two always start off with a bicker or two. But this time, the tone is different, Saito feels jilted for losing to Ward in the previous episode and his pride is marred knowing that he is not as capable as Ward in defending Louise. Louise tries to console him, but he pushes her away, in a sense of blind confusion and pent up anger. He goes as far to shove Louise away angrily, because you know, the guy is feeling pretty Vengeful at the moment. Louise then drops the bomb that she wishes to Marry Pedophile Pete (haha yeah, you thought I’d stick with calling him Ward for long? naah). But there’s no time for this emo-fest, Fouste found it great timing to attack now with her Golem accomplice.

Deep down, he just wants to be Loved.

After this episode, I came to the conclusion that this Golem sucks. Firstly, its not very mobile at all, then its got this massive drawback of roaring so loudly, it would make the explosion of Mount Krakatoa Blush. So what we are left is, is a Large Earthen Noisemaker, an excellent choice….if you want an immobile noise making machine to blow your cover and attract unwanted attention, that is. “But it has Regenerative Abilities” you say, so what? It’s pretty much target practice which can repair itself (level up weapon skills here).  Saito cuts off one of it’s arms, and then Guiche summons his complement of Floating Armed Guards, which apparently have the ability to “Shunpo” (Flash Step if you are familiar with Bleach), these things are cool, and it obviously parodies the “Legion” power of the Martial Master in Shakugan no Shana.

Episode 11: Attack of the Clones.
Whilst Saito and Guiche are doing the violent tango with Fouste and her Golem pet, Pedophile Pete decides to steal Louise away from the scene. Now, this guy, for a CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD, is a Blistering Moron. He’s got a Griffin Mount, which is Perfectly capable of Flight. But no, he pulls on the reins, and his dearly beloved lets out a Moo which sounds like a Cow giving birth to two calves. At Once. This is ok, maybe its meant to be some sort of Griffin Battlecry. But the next part is unacceptable, Ward a.k.a Retard Prime is STILL riding his Griffin around on Ground-Walk mode. Whats up with that? Dude, you may be a Dodecahedron mage or whatever, but if you cant use a Flying Mount to FLY, then you probrably are a retard.

Ward: “…Cmonn Wardy think..THINK…you’re missing someth-ah Screw it”
Griffin: “Moooooo(ron)”

Transition back to Ground Zero now, and it seems that Guiche’s clone army is not phasing the Golem one bit. Just when things start to look bad, a firebomb hits the Golem’s lower torso, causing massive damage to the Golem, which wails a thousand laments about Pain (I’m exaggerating, but it makes it more fun!). But who are the mysterious rescuers of Saito and Guiche? It’s the Dangerous Duo, Kirche and Tabitha! I am convinced these two girls are Team Rocket, mainly because they seem to appear everywhere there’s trouble. Also, Kirche has Jessie’s long red hair and Tabitha has James’ short blue hair. They kind of “Blast Off” at the end of most episodes when they ride Tabitha’s familiar into the blue beyond.

Jessie! James! Teeeam Rocket!

With the Firepower collapsing upon the Golem on all sides, Fouste does the hilarious “I am running away whilst laughing and you can’t do shit about it sequence”, she even goes as far as to do the, “OHOHOHOHO” laugh. Overt cliches aside, we are then brought back upon the Airship of Broken Dreams (A name I made up which I felt fitting). So we have Pedophile Pete trying once again, to charm Louise unto his side, with alcohol. Louise hesitates at first, remembering Saito’s oath to her, and then decides to succumb by accepting PP’s marriage proposal. He tries to cannive her into telling her Prince Wales’ whereabouts before they reach Albion, but she resists.

Louise looks at the viewer, signalling us to Kill Ward. 

When they finally reach Albion, Louise and Ward head off to find the Prince in hiding. They come across a church, what is it with dramatic sequences involving churches? Anyway, its too quiet, and lo and behold…Its a Trap!!! (Admiral Ackbar would have been proud). Several nasty looking Knights emerge from nothingness, threatening to say “Ni” to the intruders till their ears bleed profusely (well not really, but whatever). A Knight approaches them, ready to cut them. But Louise shows Henrietta’s ring, which apparently connects with the Knight’s Ring. Retsgip tells me this is a Wonder Twins reference, but I haven’t watched it, so I am assuming this is a parody of the Justice League pair. After some hot and wet Wonder Twins action, the Knight is apparently Prince Wales Tudor (GASP! Who would have guessed!?).

What is it with this show and Painfully Obvious Disguises?

So Louise goes and hands Tudor a letter from Henrietta, which he reads unamusingly. You’d think receiving a letter from an old friend would move you a bit more, but not for this guy, oh no, this Prince is as Steely as the Iron studs in your Computer. He gives the letter to Louise, and tells her that his place is with his country, that he would Die for it bla bla bla. Louise exits, with Ward waiting like a mugger at a Back Alley at some HIGHLY suspicious looking Pillar. All the other pillars were inconspicuous, but that pillar was tainted….like with an Evil Aura of Badness or some shit (anyway you could tell that Ward and the Pillar equalled some kind of mischief). Pedobear then takes a lunge at Louise, and forces her into submission, having his way with h-ooops, going off track here. What I meant to say is, Pedobear is actually part of Reconquista, a extreme left wing movement intent on destroying all monarchies and plundering cities. Louise finds this out and is less than amused.

See that Pillar? Its up to no good I tells ya. Huh? oh yeah, Louise running etc.

But wait, there’s more. As Louise is fleeing certain Doom and Destruction, she bumps into a blonde haired Reconquista guy, who looks almost as retarded as Ward (I am not sure, my Retard-Face analysts are still working on Draft Comparisons). But he has a nose the size of the Pyramids of Giza, and a hairstyle that would have him sentenced to eating Horse manure even in the 16th Century. I will save you, my dear readers from this horrible abomination of a bad guy, for fears that you may be unable to sleep after seeing it (not really, I just forgot to snap one of him). He uses his Ring of Mind Control on Louise. I was laughing here because Louise couldnt help but stare at the ring. “Hey I know, this guy is shining his Evil ring at me, the best course of action HAS to be to look straight into it”.

What happened to Ward’s Hat? Seriously, where the hell is that thing?

This Unholy Union was obviously the doing of the Ugly looking new baddy, and they attempt to mind control Louise into saying “I do” in front of the Priest/Prince Tudor. But fear not, Louise’s love for Saito is much to great, and she resists the mind control technique, thanks to many years of Torture Training under the Cambodian Jungle Combat Commandos. More on the Commandos another time, anyway just as things are about to get severely matrimonial, Saito interrupts the ceremony! Nobody touches his woman, let alone marry her! Shit was going to hit the fan for Ward.

I am Saito, Hear me ROAR.

This scene was made of Heroic and Extreme Tension, which is great. Saito’s call out to Louise released her from the Mind Control Jutsu and the Ugly Blonde Big Nosed guy decided to run away before he gets his ass handed to him. Ward, still riding high on his previous victory decides to stay back and fight. But before Saito, he has a mission to kill Prince Wales Tudor with Extreme Prejudice…with a Lightsabre I might add.

“Excuse me my good man, you seemed to have jammed your energy sword into me”

Before George Lucas’s team of Sith Lawyers storm Zero animation studios, I’d like to take the opportunity to say, most hilarious death by Lightsabre ever. Look at Prince Wales’ face, can you say Delayed Reaction? The guy looked like he could recite the Phantom of the Opera with an Interlude before realizing he got owned by Ward. Prince Wales dies without saying a word and just hands his Wonder Twin ring back to Louise. There were no sad or woeful words of parting, just a silent passing of the ring. Maybe he was just too shocked at how his character was introduced and killed so soon, and where he could get another job as an extra/plot device character. Now Saito is angry and he goes into Berserk mode against Ward, which is pretty awesome. Basically his Gandalf rune goes into overload, because Saito attunes his feelings for Louise into his attack stance.

Ward/Byakuya: Why do you want to Save Louise so much?
Saito/Ichigo: As her fiancee, why don’t you save her from yourself?

BAAAANKAAIIII!!!!!

Saito accidentally gets his Zanpaktou stuck on a Church Bench. Nice One.

After a Battle of Epic Bleach Parody proportions (which I found highly amusing and enjoyable), Ward concedes defeat. But bad guys just dont say, “Nice fight, maybe next time”, nope, they have to burn the whole goddamn church down. I was also laughing at this part, basically after tearing the foundations of the church apart, it goes up in flames for no reason (Is it implied that Ward’s stone breaking spell insta-casts a firebomb spell?), the guy walks away Ice Cool. Please note, the building is literally collapsing inwards, with firey rock blocks crashing down to the ground. But no Ward, doesnt run away with any urgency. At all. He just walks out with all the time in the world. Louise and Saito, instead of Running out (and pushing Ward back into the flames whilst overtaking him as he is WALKING), gawk at Ward cluelessly. But not to fear Team Rocket’s Jessie and James pick them up from the flaming rubble using Levitation. We are then rewarded with Saito reconciling with Louise with a sealed Kiss.

Make sure your kids are in bed, for the scene following this one.

All in all, it was a delicious package of an episode. Excellent plot movement, many amusing moments, many opportunities to mock the living crap out of Ward and of course, hot Tsundere Louise action. I am hoping that the final two episodes, 12 and 13 follow the lead of 11, as it is the kind of stuff I would love to see before the finale. But alas! the preview hints at a Mostly Siesta episode next week (Jesus, why won’t somebody kill her already), Here’s to hoping that the Siesta fare is minimal and focus is switched on Louise and Saito. In the meantime, remember to stay away from Evil Looking Pillars and Stay Happy. I’ll catch you next week.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz