Darkshaunz is now on the sCOOLbus
As I was surfing the vast internets for Rukia hentai doujins and a Russian mail bride, I stumbled upon my Youtube bookmark. I had apparently bookmarked this search for DBZ music videos, because I was told some of them were “intense” and “wicked”. By that, they meant a constant clones of Gohan vs. Cell music videos with more Linkin Park than razors for you to cut yourself with. Some of these guys had Heaps of views, like in the thousands. I was like, “Holy shit!” that’s like way more people than the Samoan Islands!”. I imagined the video creators to be some kind of otaku rockstar, sipping bubble tea served by cosplaying bunnygirls in a capsule corp penthouse. So my dear readers, why are we left out? Why should we not claim this Delicious Prize of AMV-fame by making our own Shitty videos to flood the intertubes?
Let’s make a crappy anime music video, everyone!
Music Videos the Retsgip Anime Blog way
After making my first anime music video, this qualifies me to be a complete expert in the subject. Even though I cry blood after viewing the abomination of nature that is my creation, I can only proudly pound my chest and stoke my wee-wee. My first tip to you is - Just wing the living shit out of it. If any sequence in an anime episode looks or feels like it can be vaguely or remotely related to a popular song from any era, this means it is “Thunderbirds are Go” for you to embark on your music video of ultimate superstardom. This is a sure fire way to earn those Bunnygirls giving you handjobs and singing the Lucky star opening for you every morning. A handy hint is use songs which have a lot of lyrics, so even if your video turns out to be a steaming pile of shit, at least your viewers can enjoy a good song, or be too overwhelmed by the words. Or you can be like me and be a total jackass. People will probably hate you for defiling their favourite anime/anime-scene, but fuck it, close your eyes and think of your otaking fantasies.
“Not all music videos are as shitty as you think”
Oh I know that, but you know, competing with people who spent more than 1 hour on their anime music video is competitive suicide. I am not big into the AMV scene at all, I’ve seen some which I personally felt were impressive, and there’s probably a huge cult following for this “art form” (cough), and that’s cool. I just wish there were more lesbian smexing AMVs, because I’d subscribe to that (with my pants), leading me to believe that AMV makers are much too posh for the baser desires. Also accompanying these giants of creativity, are emo-song supercharged videos which make you want to puke your face off. Just imagine a nine-inch-nails song accompanied by Sasuke looking pissed all the time and Sakura’s sweet tears. Congratulations, you’ve just imagined 90% of most anime AMVs on the internet. I know someone is going to throw a kunai at my face for saying that tomorrow. However ladies and gentlemen, it is your birthright to make an anime music video, according to galactic anime law. To my horror, I only spotted a few hundred shitty videos, there should be thousands, if not millions of them around. So awake your inner creative child, and come up with some fantastic bullshit to throw at the masses! It was certainly therapeutic for me (it won’t be for the poor saps who are brave enough to watch mine).
Serious Sam is Serious
Here at Retsgip anime blog, we’ve always had a tradition for saying, posting and doing shit just because we feel like it. Experimentation is important in anime culture I think, people experiment with a variety of anime at the start of each season, then trim the fat. They do this scientifically precise (yet personal) method of extraction at the start of every season without really realizing it. It becomes habitual as such. In saying this, I don’t experiment like that because I felt the anime this recent season suck (maybe except Wolf and Spice or SZS). However, I do like trying something I haven’t even dreamt of attempting, like making an AMV, albeit for shits and giggles, at least I can proudly lift my nose up high and proudly exclaim, “Naturally, I’ve made a most excellent anime music video”, whilst doing some weird bowing pose. Now I know most of my lady readers are swooning at the thought of it already, but calm yourselves! You must be calm in order to produce the absolute best anime music video you can produce. Find inspiration everywhere you go, the toilet, the kitchen, your trashcan or even your porn folder. Make your AMV happen and post it on the internets when your half-arsed attempt is finished. You’ll thank God, Jesus, Allah and Yahweh for spreading the good word of this art form.
Here’s the “Just winged it” video in all it’s glory
An entry from Caraniel
What you’ll need
I personally used these to make my video:
Windows Movie Maker - Free and easy to use. Also great for making it look amateurish.
A NON Linkin park song - We’ve got a fuckload of that shit already, please think of kittens.
Bleach episode 161 RAW - Subs are “unprofessional”, its true because I said so.
Your amazing/shitty creativity - It will show in the video, Believe it!
Making up for lost time, I see
Yeah I am, I am especially apologetic to people like Brew, wicked_liz, Sandw, Ben and Running_kid for just leaving the place without saying, “Hey guys, I’ve decided to be a slack piece of crap and not write for a while!”. I could have done that, but I didn’t. So I punished myself as per GAR laws, I had to find my fighting spirit long lost since my childhood days as a warrior. What was a field of study so horrific that it could cause me brain damage just by thinking of it? Then it struck me, anime music videos, 90% of which are actually cancer inducing. So for my apathy, I decided to not only experience them as a form of twisted self-punishment, I went the full monty and made one. Therefore my loyal readers and commenters, this one’s for you guys. I will have nightmares about this, probably regret it when my family members inevitably discover the youtube link and this may even scar my future employment opportunities. Hey, I did it because it was the manly way to go about apologizing, without actually saying sorry directly (which in hindsight, would have been far easier and less traumatic).
Piss-poor AMV Getto!
So here’s the deal, if you actually end up making your own half-assed anime music video as a result of being too bored to do anything productive, I’ll post your video on this entry, so your genius will be forever preserved on the world wide web. If you get boob rash from using Youtube, just rapidshit it and I’ll host it for you on my channel (because I’m a nice guy like that). Also, I can upload the original to rapidshit or megashit if one of you poor bastards really have nothing else better to download. I’ll be back next week with the latest Bleach update as usual. In the meantime, I heard there’s a place down there called the YMCA where you can do what you like. I ran out of pictures as usual, so I used any pictures laying around in my dump folder, please excuse the random shit all over the place.
PS: My video is meant to be bad - In case some of you missed the point (not you guys though, too sharp!)