Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz reunites with some old Pirate friends.
Score: 7.5/10

Good Evening folks, well it looks like I returned to the Bastion of Retsgipness sooner than I thought! After my stint with Zero no Tsukaima, its time somebody gave the Black Lagoon a little bit of attention. This is quite a fun switch for me, actually, considering I went from Off the Moe-dar action from one spectrum, to a Hollywood-esque shootout on the other. So join me as I shoot a few Mafia members and question whether or not Pedobears are hunting the Twins in my picture.

Mr. Chan, Badass Extraordinaire.

Things start off quite violently in this episode, we are shown two kids butchering the living crap out of some poor souls in a house. Gunshots are heard, a bloody axe is seen, and the precedent is set for yet another fun filled Black Lagoon arc. Black Lagoon would not be what it is without the “spice” of death. According to the voice of the kids, they have killed eight poor individuals already. Kids these days, with their video games and their Assassination Contracts. Well, the hits were apparently scored on mafia members, affecting the Latin-American thugs, Hotel Moscow, the Chinese Triad and the Sicilian Mafia. The big boys are being hit by little kids, oh the irony.

The other Mafia leaders allowed Balalaika to play Midfield position, as she insisted.

Balalaika, the scar faced lady pictured above, is a hardball woman. I wouldn’t cross path with her, ever. Why? you ask, well because she commands enough firepower to level my neighbourhood with a wave of a finger. She’s pissed that her beloved army comrades are being slain all over the joint. She makes it clear that if anyone gets in her way, she’s going to make sure they eat good ol’ Russian 7.62mm rounds. The only mafia leader who is not shaken by her presence is Mr.Chan, but thats because the guy doesn’t actually needs Bodyguards….he is practically Chow Yun Fat + Jackie Chan merged into an anime presence. The Skull meeting is called off, and we are sent back to the good ol’ gang in a jiffy.

Revy’s ass. Do I really need to say more?

Transition back to Bao’s bar, the poor guy has some Awesome Insurance in my opinion, considering his bar has been totalled at least three times in heavy arms exchanges. But I like him, even as a Secondary character, his bar can actually withstand .50 cal hits and he has a Shotgun for protection, most awesome bartender yet. Bao shares some intelligence with Revy, apparently there is a US$50,000 on the twins, being offered by the government. He notions that the Mafia’s involvement to get the money AND to stop the killing of their men are a given, but also interesting to know that some of Black Lagoon’s more famous hitmen and assassins are en route to this sleepy Thai town to scoop the wealth. This may be the start of a very competitive arc, as Black Lagoon company combats other Companies/Individuals to claim the prize.

This is Rock, everyday is a Bad day at the office.

Lets focus on Rock for a minute, for a normal paper-pusher-to-be in a generic multinational corporation, he sure has seen some pretty messed up things. He’s experienced and lived through what I define as “HOLY CRAP” situations. But he’s never got that arrogant badass aura surrounding him in that sense, there is an innocence and properness which eminates from him. Rock is our proxy, we deliver our image through him, and we see him doing things we probrably would do in the presence in a world of pirates. Moving on, Rock’s concerned about why everybody is sporting a shooter, moreso than usual. Revy notes that the place is like “Popcorn”, and that any more heat/tension and the place would “Pop”. Awesome analogy, I can’t wait for the next one, perhaps the “Poptart” analogy is due next episode.

So this is probrably the one time I didn’t concentrate on Revy. Eda…drool…

Then Eda, the hot nun we met in the last season, pays the bar a visit. This is normal for nuns I am guessing, during their free time, they get to dress in the most sexy manner and pick up guys, thats a pretty awesome deal, worshipping in the day, seducing at night. But I think this rule only applies to the Church of Violence, where the Head Nun sells Arms to the local pirates. But I like Eda, she cracked me up in the Season 1 Church episode, after seeing a Nun sporting sunglasses and a Glock 9mm is not something you see everyday (even in anime). She’s there to pass some intel unto Revy and Rock, but unfortunately, its recycled garbage about the bounty. She urges Black Lagoon company to join the fray in finding and killing the mysterious killers.

If this means more Eda and Revy action, then consider me Sold.

We are then shown a bar which looked like it got hit by a typhoon. A Typhoon of Lead and Destruction, that is. Apparently this was where Balalaika’s men were slaughtered by the twins. The Inspector on site gives a harrowing recount of what happened to the place and it’s customers thanks to a now nearly-dead bartender. According to the story, two Twins speaking a foreign laungage came inside and completely bitch-smacked Balalaika’s collectors back to oblivion. We see the male twin cutting shit up with some Medieval Battle Axe, melee weapons are always so overpowered. Female twin made me smile the most though, so picture if you can, a Moe/Gothic Lolita wielding what looks like a .50 cal Mg42 German Machinegun, and going rambo with it. Yes, it sounds awesome, and it definitely looked kickass, but its not even physically possible….the Twins must be bio-engineered creatures or they are both Terminators. After some playing around, they drag one of the surviving Hotel Moscow agents back to their escape car.

I suppose its too late to offer him Candy?

Back to the Lagoon Company Office now, and Dutch is back from some Info-scooping. He’s found out that Balalaika decided to get awesomely serious. In that, she will deploy a Special Forces wing under her command. Apparently, these guys are more hardcore than her normal troops. Seeing as her normal troops are Afghan War Veteran Commandos, these guys must be Spetznaz or something. You know, guys who could gut you and skin you alive just by looking at you. Dutch was so shook by Hotel Moscow’s decision that he thinks the only safe distance is at least 200 miles once they are deployed. So I am guessing they are a Hardcore Special Forces Cell with, I don’t know, Tomahawk Cruise Missiles fitted with Nuclear Warheads. Only that would justify the requirement of fleeing 200 miles from anywhere. We are then shown a flashback to a younger Balalaika, it would seem age has not decreased her Russo-Pyscho-Lady demeanour, not one bit.

Russian Ladies - Great lookers, Great Tennis players and Kickass Mafia Heads.

We are then taken back to the Twin’s mansion now. These kids are officially the most screwed up pieces of work I have yet seen (Waaaay worse than the twins from Shakugan no Shana), not only do they want to bed each other, but they toy around with corpses as if they were platforms of lego. After playing dress up with their corpse friend, and by dress up I mean mutilating the dead body and impaling a flag into its lifeless skull, it was time for them to receive a scolding from their guardians. These guys look like perfect target practice, one poor guy even threw up after looking at the horrible sight.

These kids are as normal as three legged elephant squids.

Balalaika, who were informed of some phrases in Italian decided to call Rock back at the Lagoon company office to verify the statement made by the officer on the Killer Twin death site. Rock affirms that it does sound like Italian, but he cannot be sure (I thought it was Spanish, but I had nfi to be honest). After some deep thought, Rock looks at Revy’s vampire magazine and magically remembers that the phrase had something to do with vampires! Yaaay! The mystery is solved and the world is saved! Not so, the things I were wondering was; “Why is Revy reading about Vampires?” and also; “Are the Twins vampires or terminators?”. All this and more, to be answered next episode, I guess.

She’s ordering Pizza. BADASS Pizza.

So that’s it for the opening episode of the Second Barrage. It’s rather uneventful compared to the previous episodes, but that’s because the heat is just warming up, the pieces are still being moved into their places. Judging by the teaser for next week’s episode, People will die, Guns will go a’blazing and Revy is going to jump around like a Gun-totting squirrel on Speed, I can’t bloody wait for it. In the meantime, make sure to keep smiling maniacally and don’t let your children go out killing Mafia members!

Ja Matane,

Darkshaunz