Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz fires a farewell round.

Score: 9.7/10

To the good folks following my Black Lagoon entries, I apologize for the delay in pumping out this particular post. Believe me, I could not have chosen a worse time to go holidaying in Malaysia, I came in right after the Taiwan Earthquake struck, knocking out any decent internet capabilities this country had (along with neighbouring SEA countries). Aside from the wishy washy internet, matters were made worse when I actually finished typing up this final entry on my old laptop and somehow it was lost during the transfer to my new Toshiba laptop (along with the resized pictures and everything), it was irrecoverable from my old laptop as well (which was a reason I decided to ditch the old thing), I’ve also had to reinstall Adobe Photoshop in order to resize the pictures once more. Now that things are in some form of order once again, let’s see what the last installation of Second Barrage has to offer us.

Rock thinks about his anime career after this series is over.

The episode begins with Terminator-chan and Princess Yakuza exchanging some words of love and huggy feelings in the middle of the night, Terminator-chan’s standing on the door out to the cold night eerily paralleled the scene where Bando is walking out into the snow, foreshadowing his death. I guess this is just another way that the writers wish to instill their creative licenses before they say goodbye. We are then transitioned back to Rock and Balalaika, who have been seriously involved in talks with the Kousa head. During an intermission, Balalaika congratulates good’ol Rock for his job well done so far. Rock suddenly makes a request to have the Washamine Group completely destroyed in order for Yukio to be “released” from her harsh reality. This turns Balalaika on very much, and she proceeds to adapt her “You gonna get raped” stance on Rock. She nearly kissed him too, it was an awkwardly hilarious moment for viewers (I enjoyed it).

Balalaika is simply delicious.

Rock x Balalaika Doujins are going to pop like fireworks now.

Up until the last episode, Black Lagoon continues to teach us things. Small details like, whenever you arrange for a meeting with Hotel Moscow; a) Don’t use Shitty Pistols b) Have a sheet of bullet proof glass in front of you and c) Never, EVER let Balalaika hold your guns. The Kousa Clown in charge of the joint failed to satisfy the above criteria, and paid the ultimate price with new bullet holes in his lovely little noggin. I find it amazing how Balalaika can take any pretext such as the Yakuza using crappy guns (apparently the Glock is shit) and turn it into the perfect reason to wipe the estate clean of Japanese villainy. I guess the lesson is, don’t meet with Balalaika for no reason, and for the love of Haruhi, do not let her within an inch of your firearm. Rock’s been swallowing the events transpiring before him pretty well so far, Im not sure whether this is him becoming more GAR or more numb, either way, its comforting to see him becoming “one of them”. Though, I must say, his transformation was much more rapid than I anticipated. I’m betting its mainly due to the writers wanting to push the story forward though. Balalaika hands him the PPX she used to kill the Kousa Clowns with, he politely declines, maintaining his “Twilight” Stance.

What’s Russian for, “This gun sux lolol!” ?

The alternative to using Dulux Paint.

In a sort of Black Lagoon first, the Police forces actually make a stand outside of the Kousa headquarters. Not just a couple of patrol cars but a platoon of those heavily armoured riot officers. These guys look like they actually stand a fighting chance against Balalaika and her bodyguard, by “stand a chance” I mean their airtime might be five seconds as opposed to two, before they are all exported as the new batch of Japanese Swiss Cheese (now with added lead!). Once Balalaika is finished with her Dirty business, she obviously meets the rowdy police force outside. Claiming Diplomatic Immunity, Balalaika is driven back to the Russian embassy like a VIP, with the Japanese Policemen being unable to do anything. Rock, on the other hand, has no such privilege, and has to jump onto Revy’s motorbike Ninja Turtle style. It was a shame, I thought there would be a cool shootout with the Japanese Police, but I guess a smooth getaway by both Balalaika and Rock will suffice. Rock then goes on to pester Revy to help Yukio out, he hasn’t quite come to terms with the fact that Yukio has accepted her fate and is actually “enjoying” her newfound life.

These guys dont actually get to do anything. Except look cool.

Balalaika to the Japanese Police: “GTFO my way pls, kthx”

Hilariously, it would seem that the world is a very small place and that Yukio’s van manages to knock Rock and Revy’s sexy Red Ride. Now, I am pretty sure it was planned by Yukio, as she would have known that Balalaika would meet up with the Kousa council to force the Washamine group out of the underground. She was most likely using her crazy Japanese anime Schoolgirl psychic powers to do this (She’s got that Psychic look within her). Or it is most likely that I am looking too much into it and that it was actually just a freak accident and Terminator-chan’s stupid luck (must be his good luck shades). that the two parties collided. Either way, audiences were held to awe at Yukio’s insane gunslinging skills, she literally sprayed the ground Rock was laying on with a rain of lead, but not one hit him. Considering she just got the gun the night before, she must have been a natural gunwoman the moment she was born (lol hax imo). Either way Rock, walks coolly off with Yukio as a hostage even though Revy was thrown off the bike, which then exploded in front of her. He didn’t even call out to her or anything, I guess he must know that Revy can’t die and he shouldn’t worry himself about it.

Seriously guys, WTF. She became a Pro Gungirl after just one night.

Whilst in the van, the three of them share a friendly chat. Rock’s still questioning why Yukio’s still hanging on to her Yakuza Position, and Yukio’s telling him how she wants to see things through her way to revive her Yakuza Group’s honour bla bla bla. I was too busy being distracted by Terminator-chan’s wicked shades, I mean, they look completely awesome on him. Must be that buzz cut, trench coat and insane demonic killing aura that surrounds the guy. Viewers are then taken back to Revy, who apparently, is very much accustomed to crashing out of motorcycles in full force, I say this because she is completely unscathed. No bruises, No cuts, not even a nervous sweat, I guess she’s been so close to death so many times, this is like a small bump for her. People call Balalaika GAR constantly, but you try surviving a high speed crash with a Van (with you on a smaller vehicle), having the bike blow up in front of you, getting up and then hijacking one of the largest commerical road truck by standing in front of it whilst its going fast. Its not something we do in our free time (if you DO do this kind of thing in your free time, please stop before you get killed), but Revy seems to be immune to the concept of fear (and the concept of physical damage, for that matter), which is just how we like her.

It takes more than a bike explosion to kill Revy, I lol’d manly tears.

As you’d imagine, “convincing” a driver of a huge truck to hand over his vehicle is made much easier when you’re firing Beretta 92FS rounds in the air. Revy scores her ride, and somehow automatically knows how to masterfully handle such a big rig at such a high speed. At this point, I was sure Revy has had James Bond training. This is because James Bond is a master of everything, he can fly any plane, drive any boat or tank. 007 antics aside, Revy’s plan was to knock Yukio and Terminator-chan’s van out of the road and somehow pray that her beloved Rock does not end up in a Kenny Rogers’ grill. The two bump into each other and accelerate into the wharf, breaking out of the trajectory just in time, with Rock forcefully steering the crazy Yakuza bitch from the certain death of the three of them. Terminator-chan readies his scabbard, and Revy hops out of her Grand-Theft-Auto’d Truck with her two cutlasses drawn. This signalled the final dance that us, as Black Lagoon fans would view before the last verse of the series is sung.

I bet she could also command Battlecruisers and Ride a Horse. James Bond can.

“lulz who r teh nub who bought teh duel berretaz at teh strt of da roundz? lolol nub” (seconds before he got shot)

I guess when I said “dance” I meant more like some kind of Tribal ritual was going to be performed. Revy and Terminator-chan were both quietly circling each other without saying a word. The elements missing from this scene were; 1) A huge fire in the centre, 2) Loud, drunk and insane tribesmen and 3) Sacrificial Boars hanging on pyres. Alas, this isn’t a National Geographic documentary on indigenous peoples, so we had to do with two of the GARest mercenaries this side of the world, quietly doing the “Circle of Dance Waltz”. I’d also like to point out that in this sequence, Revy had a very nasty slouch going, this may be because she’s been drinking too much Sapporo Draft Beer and not enough Milk. Don’t worry, I’ve already sent a nice recommendation letter to Geneon to ensure that the writers make Revy visit her local GP for osteoperosis advice. The walking crap goes on for long enough until Terminator-chan decides quietly waking in circles probrably wasn’t going to kill Revy anytime soon. The first move is made by Terminator-chan, and we could finally hang back and watch the gears of combat churn in delight.

WANTED: Crazy Tribesmen and an unnecessarily large fire in the middle.

“There’s an Ultimate Battle going on, its time for a casual chat with some babe”

Terminator-chan’s first move is the trademark Samurai “Super Dash”, but I believe that in this case, his sandals are actually cleverly disguised Rocket Boots from the future. Lest we forget that he is actually here on the mission from the future where Chibi Tsuruyas have finally taken over the world and are fighting a neverending war with the remnants of mankind (or was it machines?), plus not finding Sarah Conner has made him fed up all these years, apparently a cute japanese schoolgirl doesn’t really cut it. Revy lets off a couple of shots in style, only to have Terminator-chan cut her bullets into more digestable pieces. Meanwhile while the two warriors fight, Rock and Yukio share what I felt was an amusingly RELAXED conversation. To put things into perspective it was like the Battle of the Century a mere five feet away from them, as in Rock and Terminator-chan was about to unleash the gates of Both Heaven and Hell. This did not bother the two, I am surprised they did not bring a portable picnic basket with them and sipped on some Earl Grey whilst the universe was tearing apart due to the insane sword and gunplay transpiring on a Japanese wharf. I’ll try my best to describe the fight, but it goes something like this, Revy does a super-double-barrel-roll-with-extra-cheese and Terminator-chan does his usual “Swing of Infinite Bloodletting” moves, imagine two rabid mongooses brandishing weapons fighting on a disco floor. That’s kinda what its like (not really, but if you are on crack, sure).

Revy shoots the bullets….

….and Terminator-chan cuts them. Its like a twisted urban ecosystem (where everyone dies!).

Gun lovers came.

After a couple of minutes of dazzling sword and gunplay by both participants, there was a breakthrough. Revy’s gamble to get into Terminator-chan’s close-combat range ended in one of her shots missing and one of her guns getting the “Chop-Chop” treatment. Revy is then forced onto the ground, and Terminator-chan moves in to “Terminate” his prey (hey, its what he does best). Unfortunately for him, Rock’s cool conversation with Yukio made her blurt out how she wanted so much to ensure her normal remained as it was forever, without any of the Yakuza bullcrap to plague her mind. This made the huge Terminator-chan stall slightly, as he had one of those heart-warming flashback sequences. Unfortunately, this touching little episode he had was to be his undoing. His final stabbing move was too slow and Revy had time to block this thrust with her leg, with his blade jammed in neutral, Terminator-chan was fitted with two new bullet holes in his body. Game over, Insert Three Credits. Only after the acrobatic battle does Rock show some love for his dear Revy. He cries out for her and (heroically) dashes in to embrace her and then go down on her (not really). More like, he shouts out for Revy, pulls out a sword from her leg, and then starts rebandaging it. I guess that’s kind of Romantic in a sense, well as Romantic as it will get in Black Lagoon anyway. Yukio, on the other hand, is not so lucky, she’ll only be able to embrace a corpse of the Terminator (necrophilic romance? ewww).

Anyone notice that eerie bright light illuminating her face as she said that? Freaky.

Point Blank has never been closer.

Unable to accept the death of her beloved Terminator-chan, Yukio decides to eat his sword. Unlike professional sword eater shows, this one handed quite tragically, as Yukio forgot to swallow the sword, not pierce her throat with it. Revy asks Rock to allay his eyes for fear that he’s mind may be further destroyed, but our man takes it like a GAR guy should. Spelling the end of the arc, Rock and Revy have another job to fulfill a’la Black Lagoon convention. Aftter the special ending credits, we get another tidbit scene with Rock talking to Benny how we will stay on, but in his Twilight position. He pockets Yukio’s crossed out picture that Balalaika teasefully sent to him. Meanwhile, Eda and Revy share a drink or two in the Churck of violence. Eda asks Revy whether she has sexed Rock in Japan (we wish), but she cheekily refuses to indulge her (tsundere denial maybe?). Then Revy does what we all wished for, she ended the series with a Bang. Literally. Kudos and Thank you Lagoon Company, I’d like to see a Black Lagoon: Third Salvo please.

“HARDER ROCK! HARDER!!!” (Borderline Guro caption there, excuse me :p).

Don’t try this at home kids. If you are, make sure you are supervised.

Encore - On Rock x Revy, The Ending, The Future of Black Lagoon

An Open-ended ending, possibly moar Black Lagoon deliciousness?

The moment we set eyes on Black Lagoon, we knew that there wasn’t going to be a happy ending of sorts. If you’re a Rock x Revy fan like I am, then I know you were somewhat disappointed at a lack of a “dramatic event” involving the two of them. Rets and I were hoping for something along the lines of Revy and Rock dying for the other in a great, epic finale, in fact I am half glad and half sad that did not happen. If it did happen, it would have been one of the greatest moment for the action genre of anime titles, and certainly put Rock x Revy up there as the most dynamic/emotional pairings of all time. This is not to say that Rock and Revy don’t have that sexual tension often displayed by Sagara and Chidori in Full Metal Panic (with the latter’s pairing much better developed). The message in Rock x Revy’s pairing is that of subtlelty, as their inward affection towards the other is implied at best, but lets face it, this is the nitty gritty mercernary world of Black Lagoon, not your run of the mill Tsundere-cum-Love Story fare. Albeit the disappointment of not seeing the pair develop a deeper romance in the series, it was very nice to see the two become a synergy of the anime (much like Yuuji and Shana from SnS // Saito and Louise from ZnT etc.).

I certainly would have appreciated more Rock x Revy chemistry. Then again, you can’t have everything.

In terms of being a Satisfactory, thats kind of a hard call to make. On one hand, fans of the characters would definitely have hated to see a prime character like Balalaika, Rock or Revy bite the dust for whatever reason. In this sense the writers of Black Lagoon *may* have taken a slightly conservative approach to how they ended this series. But criticisms aside, Revy and Terminator-chan’s fight pretty much guaranteed that we were entertained and wow’d. I won’t deny to brilliant gunplay by Revy and Termintor-chan’s pure badassery transforming the quiet Japanese wharf into their stage of oblivion. However, I am sure many of you felt that something was missing in all the commotion and destruction. There was a lot of dramatic prose by Rock and Revy as they spectated the battle of the century, but I think the episode needed something ein epic proportions - emotion wise, to have scored a perfect 10 (the only 10 that has ever been awarded in R.A.B was by Retsgip for an episode of Asatte no Houku). Despite the lack of a “ZOMG” event, the episode was still quality Black Lagoon fare with a kickass gloss finish right until Revy’s very sexy “Bang” at the end.

I’d be lying if I said I’d be happy for Black Lagoon to stop here. We love our Revy here, We love our Rock here and we sure as hell love the Sexiliciously GAR Balalaika-aneeko. If Geneon won’t give us a third series, than they would be stupid to pass the chance to create an OVA or a full-feature movie (gasp!). The whole animation team has been quality (save episode 23), and I think the team can put together a very badass film that everyone would absolutely love to watch. This will give us a very last chance to let us once again, peek into the workings of a 21st century mercenary/pirate company, oh and it’ll be another bone for us Rock x Revy fans. Thye just have to make sure that the director’s aren’t on Acid when they make the movie, or we may have an End of Evangelion type of Black Lagoon movie….For those of you already picturing Rock fapping over a comatose Revy, Don’t. Rock would just j-j-jam it in. Cos he’s a man’s man.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Thanks to Retsgip, as usual. This marks the completion of my second series here at R.A.B =)

To the Lagoon fans and readers of my weekly Black Lagoon rants and coverage, here’s another thank you for being constructive commentors and thanks just for having a read. For those of you who are wondering what I’ll be picking up next season, its most likely going to be that Gainax Mecha thats coming out or Ikkitousen II. I believe Retsgip will be covering Manabi Straight, Shuffle Memories and Venus Versus V for Vendetta (or something). It’s a lolicious new anime season, and Retsgip, our friend Danny over at Novastorm would have the lolicious titles covered (They will be my sources of hawt loli images). In the meantime, I’d rather feast my eyes on some Gainax shenanigans before the Eva movie remakes (think of it as a warmup), oh and Battle Vixens kinda appeal to me too. I need another badass girl to fill the void now that Revy’s gone.

“Anime Bloggers don’t die so easily you know? BANG!“

Cheers and see you all soon,

Darkshaunz