Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz plays with some Monopoly money.

Score: 8.7/10

Last week spelled the end of the Goth/Loli/Shota arc of Black Lagoon, so you know what that means! A new arc for the Lagoon company. This week’s episode introduces us to what looks like the “Counterfeit” theme arc. Counterfeiting is pretty much like playing Monopoly Money, except its like for people who have gone “Pro” with it, and thats kinda cool. I found this week’s episode to be as entertaining and there are a lot of new faces which I simply cannot wait to watch further downt he track. If they don’t get their asses blown off.

The episode starts off with an Evil man called Mr. Elvis giving a young Indian lady a difficult time, you cant spell “Elvis” without “Evil” after all. Seems like this here young lady is doing some counterfeiting, or “Super Hyper Awesome Monopoly Playing” as I like to call it. She’s a perfectionist, and what seemed like a perfectly good counterfeit to me, was crumpled out and given the bin treatment. Mr. Elvis, is not a patient man, he pretty much tells the lady (Jane) that she has been 2 months overdue AND $20,000 over the budget. You know what happens when Mr. Elvis gets upset and impatient? People Die. After some stalling by the scared shitless Jane, Elvis sings the death song for one of her compatriots and he hits the keyboard with a new asshole in his head. 48 hours. Thats all she has before Mr. Elvis tears her a new one. [Cue the “24″ montage and overly loud digital ticking sound effect].

Revy decides to have her “Special Time”. If you know what I mean…

It must be summer at Raunapaur town. Seems like everybody is cooking, even tough as nails Revy. Though I must mention with haste at this point that I have qualms about Revy getting hot and wet during this arc. Rather, I would encourage it, because its oh-so sexilicious. This scene gave us an opportunity for the viewer to have a look at Revy’s bedroom, and after a glance or two, the verdict is out: Her room makes Ground Zero look neat. I am sure the Pizza box on her floor was from Last Season, and it probrably harbours Sentient Life at the moment. Also, remember kids, never sleep with your Beretta Custom 92FS’ sprawled all over your bed, Guns have pointy bits too, we call them “Bullets”. Transition back to Jane now, she can’t stand being a hostage anymore. So, being the good girl she is, she decides to trap a guy in the toilet while he takes a piss and then smashes the other with the computer monitor. Violence makes everything better.

She’s charging up to Super Saiyan 3.

Jane’s no special forces kinda lady in my view. She’s quite a normal person, perhaps we will learn more about how she came to do what she does for gangs. But its quite obvious from the offset that she is different in terms of being like Revy or Eda. Her character is resourceful, quick minded and a perfectionist, and this intrigues me. She isn’t technically anything badass, but because of her “normality”, she has a very ‘Rock’ vibe to her. Meanwhile, in the Church of Violence (The Holiest of Holy Places, wouldn’t you know), Revy and Eda share a couple of cold ones under the gazing eyes of Jesus (I found it pretty funny). I dont know how many Rock x Revy fans are there out there, but I favour the pairing because its not only hilarious, but the two neutralize each other for good effect. Its here that Eda questions Revy on whether or not they have “Done it”. Revy doesn’t give a straight answer, and we can safely assume no…but Revy shows a slight pause of hesitation and reflection. My Oh my, has Rock touched the heart of this Fiery Tigress?

Revy has class, She drinks “PREMIER” alcohol. Smoooth crisp taste.

Here is the nifty little segment where Eda decides to question Revy on her Sex Life. Not that I think our luscious Tigress has any difficulty obtaining some loving (though I doubt the lucky guy will make it through the night), but perhaps her heart grows that little teensy bit softer for our Saintly Rock? Rock is “in the game” in my opinion, he’s got my full support for sure.

Subtlety was never Eda’s Forte.

Revy has some Dirty thoughts about the Possibility. Healthy young Lady.

After the Privacy-invading exchange between the two Fiersome lasses, Jane comes pounding on the Church Door seeking asylum from Evil Mr. Elvis and his Jailhouse crew. Eda is forced to haul ass and greet the distressed young miss. She inadvertantly turns Jane down, citing the psalms of the Bible to her advantage, “Don’t give any trouble to God, bitch”. I don’t remember reading this in the bible, but the one laying around in my home is old (its got like Spider babies and Dust on it). So I figure, I get this new edition which has some smacktalk and tips about popping a cap in Satan’s ass, I think its called: “The Holy Bible: The Revelations of the West Side, Yo”. It was going to be a normal event until Mr. Elvis pulls up in his car and then shoots a round at Eda and Revy. Now folks, this is the equivalent of calling Soviet Russia, “Stupid Communist Dogs”, it’s guaranteed that your face will be planted in your ass. This is exactly what happened. Revy and Eda let loose their gunslinging rage at the convoy. Naturally, the guys are wondering what the in the Hell was going on. You don’t often get shot at by two ladies, let alone in front of a Church.

They should rename the Church of Violence to OUTPOST OVERKILL.

The fine young man you see up there is Rico, and he came to give his beloved Nun-in-arms a helping hand. This guy is the Apprentice Priest of the Church of Violence. I must say, his character introduction and entry was pretty cool, not only is he a Combat Priest, but he wields what looks like a MG42 or a Browning 30 cal. The expression on his face is simply priceless, he is absolutely LOVING it. If you ever plan on going to mass in the Church of Violence, you better not doze off whilst Brother Rico is giving a Sermon. Else he will drill so many new holes into you that you would make Swiss Cheese seem whole. The Party really starts when Big Mother Nun comes in with her Golden Gun. Except this one is much less modest than the 007 interpretation of the Golden Gun. This one could literally take out a tank, and she can do it from long range too. I bet even Panda-kun from Pumpkin Scissors would have blushed at the sight. 2 Crazy Gals, 1 Heavy Machine Gun Priest and a Head Nun with a Hand Cannon proved too much for Mr. Elvis and gang, they fled to fight another day.

Holy Mary. MOTHER OF GOD!

Upon chasing the cronies away, Jane starts a very boring speech about how she came to be chased by the Mafia crew. She ranted on and on about Printers, Lazers (or was it Lazer Printers?), Counterfeiting techniques, Paper Grades and how she was the leader of a Team of Counterfeiters and also Rainbow Pixies of Fairycakeland (I am pretty sure she mentioned Pixies Somewhere in that soliloquoy). Eventually everybody gets cranky after the boring lecture and she decides to GTFO and says, “lol thanks for saving my cute ass back then, kthxbai”. But Eda won’t stand for that, saving of asses equates to services rendered. She gets Jane to go to a shady Inn at the corner of the Market, because you know, Shady Inns are the BEST place for young women to go in a Shady-ass town. Safety for the win. Either way for a measly $300 donation to the Church she would be guaranteed safe passage to said Shady Motel (haha). Eda then rings a contact to set Jane up…for a lucrative amount of money of course. Oh Eda, you nefarious nun you.

Shady Rooms Hotel didn’t really make Jane excited about her Vacation.

Fast track to a Hospital Room now, where Mr. Elvis currently resides. He isn’t having the best day, you know, getting shot up by Angry Church people and obtaining delicious wounds can make just about anybody have a bad day. But this time he is serious about getting Jane back. He decides to send his number one man, Groover Guy. I Shit you not. That is his actual name, how awesome cool is that? The Answer: Fucking cool. He doesn’t have to pretend he is a Cowboy, this guy is like the Highest level of Cowboy that any mortal can achieve, he even makes cliche’d quips faster than Clint Eastwood can draw. YEE-HAAA!!!

This Cowboy is demonstrating his Special Move: “THE BALLS CRUSHER”.

Groover Guy Russel, I think I will just call him GG, cos its cool to give Badass Cowboys cute, adorable nicknames. So GG hauls his leathered self over to Yellow Flag Saloon, Guns holstered, and spurs slightly spinning. He enters with a cautious, yet confident stance and the Bartender eyes him as a potential troublemaker. The Western Sun behind him readies to set , in this humid, South Asian Town. You might have noticed that I am overdramatizing this part slightly, and by slightly I mean of course completely off the exaggeration charts. Basically he waltzes in and starts giving commands to the mercernaries in the bar. Included in the bunch in Shuehan, my second favourite babe of the show, her Chinese-Accuentated Japanese is unbeatable by any other anime character. She freaking rocks.

Her name is Sawyer the Cleaner. WARNING: NOT A JANITOR.

Amidst the discussion we are then introduced to a lady called Sawyer the Cleaner. She is known amongst the gangs as the lady who chops and minces bodies up (we get to see her do one with a Chainsaw). Its not the most happy job, but at least the place you work in is always cool and you get to wear a mask and goggles which makes you look like a Psychopathic and Cruel Murderer. I hear Body choppers get a wicked Dental Plan too. I like her character, but I still don’t know what weapon she uses. I don’t think she walks around the street with a Chainsaw, well carting around something like that can’t be good for your back (athritis or some shit). I don’t think there is a chainsaw in her bag either, unless its one of those new “Porta-Chainsaws”. Mr. Elvis informs them all to hunt down Jane for $1000.00 per person. What I don’t get is, why do they need the Full Might of all these Assassins to capture a poor young lady? Maybe she has the ability to summon a Gundam with a blink of an eye. Anyways, we get introduced to two more fine young men, looking pretty suspicious at the corner of the bar.

Torchweaver….Nothing to do with Fire, amirite? He must use WATER.

Holy Crap guys, I need a new “Cool” Meter. This guy shits cool for Breakfast.

Rotton the Wizard and Claude Torchweaver, these guys, as you can see are the ones who will be responsible for some new weapon antics which we can look forward to next week. I expect Claude to Burn stuff, People stuff (I was wrong about him using Water, damn it). Rotton will be like, using Lazer Beam Attacks and Mind Controlling people using his awesome Psychic Sunglasses (Its going to be a Goddamned Adventure with these two). Hopefully, they do not get blown up by a tank or headshot by Revy in starting 2 minutes of next week’s episode. All in all, this episode was a beautiful set up for the Bloodsport we will be treated to next week….Season 2 is looking to Deliver everything Black Lagoon, and the some. In the meantime, remember that Sunglasses mean Insta-Cool champs.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz