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  • Black Lagoon: Second Barrage - 18 - You can’t stop the Rock.

    Posted on November 16th, 2006 by Darkshaunz - 7,184 Views
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    Darkshaunz tries the “Bull Ride”

    Score: 9.7/10

    This entry came in a little late this week, due to the fact that I have exams (and will most likely be the case next week as well). The latest episode of Black Lagoon, to put simply, Delivers. Frankly speaking, I will continue scoring this series high because of its fantastic entertainment value, consistency, and just having a charming (yet vulgar) cast of characters. Black Lagoon never tries to overextend itself, it just does what it does, Delivering high octane action every episode with a gorgeous Revy, and boy does it do it well. Also, I have decided to title the Black Lagoon eps according to the actual episode number as opposed to numbering them as they are released. Without further ado, let’s take a gander at this week’s prey shall we?

    This week was S & M week in the Lagoon Office.

    Where we last left off, Rock and Jane were in a pretty craptacular situation. Basically, they’re on this roof with noway down (well there’s a way down, but its kinda Burning something nasty), oh and there’s Sawyernator 5000 there to dice them into bite sized pieces. Meanwhile, Revy and Eda are trying to do away with Shenhua, my favourite Chinese assassin lady. Sadly, Shenhua fell for Revy’s ruse, which was simply her shooting maniacally at the walls and forcing Shenhua to run towards an opening in a broken window allowing Eda to pop a few rounds into her. Shenhua then got killed and was taken to Neverland. Yeah Right. More like Shenhua feinted her death and then wrapped her knife-rope around Eda’s head. Chinese assassin ladies are super acrobatic, remember that folks.

    Gillette Super-Shave Mach 5, now for Women.

    What followed was a hilarious Bondage photo op involving Revy and Eda (see above pic). Cheeky fanboy delusions aside, it was a pretty bad time for Eda, as she quickly motioned for Revy to go up and rescue those poor, lost clowns before they become the next entree’ for the local diner. Revy, who was obviously concerned for her dying friend, basically said, “LOL KK”, Im pretty sure those guys are friends 4 lyfe. Eda does more tactical trickery and tries to verbally stall Shenhua, and just when Eda was going to lose her head, Revy bursts out and unloads on Shenhua. Before hitting the ground looking dead sexy, she does like Kunai no Jutsu (or at least some crazy Naruto shit) on Revy and she gets new piercings on her arm and boot. Fashion is so eccentric these days.

    Revy gets Shenhua’s “Point”.

    Revy doesn’t really enjoy her new Piercings.

    So the Shenhua problem is solved. There’s another problem, yeap, Rock and Jane STILL have Sawyernator up there, Chainsaw and all. Rock’s got this plan see, I mean this guy must be “L” or something, he is always thinking, Alert. Eureka. The wood’s rotten on one of the roof sections see? So basically, the fire has weakened it some more, if Sawyernator steps on it, then she will fall down to her death. Awesome plan amirite? Right. But in Raunapaur, shit doesn’t always go down the way you want it to. It gets kinda creepy when Sawyernator starts like literally licking her lips before killing her prey. I am assuming this is like a Ritual that she does to entertain herself (Body Disposal Ladies don’t always have a good time). Alas! There is a great explosion and some drug pack comes aloose from Sawyernator. Then before dealing the killing blow, she realizes she doesn’t have Happy Juice with her anymore. UH OH. Crazy Ghost Lady does not have her Happy Juice. I thought she was going to Power up OVER NINE THOUSAAAND because she was sweating and stuff, but no…she just curled into the foetal position and lamented on life. Emo kids all over the world rejoiced.

    O SHI-

    Crawwlinngg Inn Myy Skiiiin.

    No time to talk now, its time for the Black Lagoon office to have it’s glory. Glory of crashing down something spectacular. Of course, Revy and Eda chose the worst possible time to have the weekly Pizza Party on the roof (seeing as its about to totally crash down like the Fist of an Angry God). Now, I was really excited to see Rotton the Wizard come in, I was like, “Awwwright! This guy, he is going to do some Double Somersault Backflip Dropback Cut Turn whilst firing his gun for massive damage”. No, he does his cool intro for too long and gets K-O’d by Revy. Please note that Revy was sliding down to what seemed like her death and she just dinged him with one round. Rotton the Wizard? more like Rotton the LOL. He may as well have recited Othello (Alas poor Yorrick, I knew him well….IN RANAPAUR!!!) up there. My excitement turned into LOL (I wasn’t disappointed), I expected nothing less from an Eccentric cast of characters. He must be the “Tragic Soliquoy Spewing before Dying type”.

    Rotton’s short lived Soliloquoy.

    Its Run and Gun time for Revy and gang. You can’t exactly walk “briskly” or take a “light jog” when there’s a horde of gunmen out for your heads, well you can, you’d just die and shit. After much cussing and swearing by Benny and Dutch (FFS MY BASE GOT CAMPED etc.). I didn’t know Benny could drive a mean Torpedo Boat, but he fully pulled some psycho Fast and Furious drift with a Torpedo Boat to hurriedly pick up Revy and gang. The crew got on as predicted, but they also picked up some extra passengers (including Flame-wielding Drew Carey and GG the Cowboy). What ensues looks like a Texas Shootup, on a boat going at Mach 3 (Note: Mach 3 may not be a Nautical Speed unit of measurement).

    Impatient patrons of the public ferry system get violent.

    Everywhere is a Gunfight with the Lagoon Company. Small Torpedo Boats, especially.

    Rotton the LOL is still alive. Maybe he really is a wizard, and used his magic skillz to come back from the dead or deflect the bullets, I was secretly hoping this. But as he later revealed to a dying Shenhua, he wears a Bulletproof vest. Folks, I am not giving up, it MIGHT be a magical bulletproof vest. Yeah, and he is totally pimp, he basically goes and picks up a Sexy, yet dying Chinese Lady Assassin, Rotton you sly dog, you. He also offers to pick up the Sawyernator, and I am convinced they are now part of his harem. I always knew the guy was made of Laffy Taffy, but I never knew he had the Pimp Mojo in him.

    This is what happens when you don’t pay up bitches!

    This episode was all about how much ass Dutch kicks as a Boat Operator. We get to see his special move (Its not the Kamehameha, unfortunately), but its pretty close. He calls it the “Bull Ride”, it was a ride passed on from a 3rd Generation Shinobi-Bull clan to kill unwanted assassins in Ancient Japan, and somehow it ended up with Dutch (its complicated, yes they had torpedo boats in Ancient Japan, they were called Dragons). So anyway, it was GO-Time. Revy does her usual get your engines started, sexy smile (she sure got mine started) and it was time for the unwanted stowaways to take a dip. Revy ties a rope and asks Eda to hold on (friendship is so touching). Then, Dutch pulls off the “Bull Ride”, man he basically counter-throttled at the very split second using the inertial energy of their previous linear trajectory to offset the new inertial vector, in layman’s terms, he did a Rasengan with a splash of Hadouken. People literally fly off the boat, with Revy and Eda having the time of their lives. All thats left is GG, Drew Carey and some unknown loser guy who gets a hammer thrown at him (He isn’t even worth shooting at).

    I love Revy’s trademark Devil-Woman smile.

    Theme Park rides get more and more exciting these days.

    Apparently a last Bull Ride had no effect on Drew Carey. The boat’s temperature was raised slightly in this scene, and not because Revy’s stupidly hot, but its because Drew Carey is a total Pyromaniac. Stand up comedy can do that to some people. Basically, the guy takes the whole “I has a Flamethrow0rz” act to the next level. He mentioned to Revy that his wife took only 5 minutes to cook. As opposed to steaming her in chicken stock (chefs recommend), some Pyromaniacs just can’t cook for shit. Revy then taps on Dutch in the cutest-sexiest expression, how can anyone say no to that? Actually, you better not say no to Revy or she’ll blow your balls off. Dutch obliges her request for a another Bull Ride (He’s still got sum chakra/nen/reiatsu/Qi/Mojo left).

    Must…resist…urge…to…make a Fart Joke…

    “Onegai?” (that face reminded me of Asakura from MoHS)

    Another thing I learnt about Black Lagoon, you can have gunfights ANYWHERE. If you though gunfights on a small torpedo boat was cool, wait till you see a Gunfight in the Torpedo Boat’s Engine Room. I am surprised they can actually shoot at each other without rubbing shoulders. I want to see Gunfights on a Ferris Wheel next (with Horrified Couples!). Here, Eda is engaging with GG, but of course, GG is no match for Ubernun Eda. He gets held up for some chit and chat.

    Whoever wins. The Boat loses.

    Ooop! Back to the boat and Dutch pulls another Bull ride. This time, Drew Carey flies only to shot by Revy, scoring a hit on his fuel tank which made him do an explosion-flying Exit which would have made TEAM ROCKET Proud!

    “…Blasting off again!”

    Transition back to the Engine room and we finally get to see Eda without her Sunglasses. I savoured every moment, Eda looks stunning without her Sunglasses. Those azure blue eyes literally glow, and like her golden locks contrasting with her nun outfit literally had me gazing like a hopeless monkey. She was blabbering some plot related stuff about how she met some MIB with her SG-1 Team or something, but I was too busy just gliding my eyes at how absolutely stunning she looks. Oh yeah apparently she’s CIA, thats her storyline plot twist jig. Did I mentioned she was Absolutely stunning? Because she really is (must be me and Blonde nuns).

    Zero-Glass Eda. Uber Sexay.

    Rock and Jane are chilling with Benny because of the fact that the Boat just became the new Street Fighter Stage and shit was going down on all the decks. Being in a Computer Room is SO much safer than a Normal Room. Jane basically forgets her bag because of the whole Crazy Ghost Lady was going to kill her affair. She realizes that Benny can provide her access to the information she needs with his computer and internets. Benny does some MYSQL crap, I dont know anything about computer hacking (as you can tell), and got to download his favourite episode of Black Lagoon from some Torrent site (OMG TIME PARADO-). Janes got REALLY turned on by this and they really went down in front of Rock. Rock was enjoying because he was healthy young man, no doubt he was fantasizing about doing the same to Revy (Rock x Revy fans, dont worry, I believe our time will come!!! Believe it!!!).

    Love waits for nothing. Not even if there are two separate gunfights going on around them.

    Twas a highly enjoyable episode (and by highly, I mean super-hyper-mega-awesome), without a doubt. Black Lagoon’s over the top characters, plot, animation consistency, stunning female leads and high octane action has kept me interested since Season One. I don’t care what anyone may say about this series, its just too good for any true action fan to pass up (whether you are a fan of anime or not), this is such a ridiculously good homage to Hollywood action movies, with a darker twist, that I just can’t get enough of it. If a Sexy Revy, a Stunning Combat Nun and a Chinese Lady Assassin wearing a Cheongsam doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what will.

    Eda describes Black Lagoon in its entirety: A Hole in One. Perfection.



    5 comments to “Black Lagoon: Second Barrage - 18 - You can’t stop the Rock.”

    Please use <spoiler></spoiler> tags when appropriate, thanks!

    1. Hah, chainsaw woman goes linkin park on rock’s ass. I also liked the YGO abridged refrence dammit, your good at this continue these! Oh yea and the episode was good too. :)

    2. @Inuhanyou: My Hair is telling me to Thank You! Thanks champ!

    3. I think wizard’s catch phrase should be: “In america!” That’d be great.

      Great episodes this season, I’m really impressed. Thanks for the laughs, as usual ;p

    4. @Rets: I would laugh so hard if he eventually got that catch-phrase. And yeah, I am really glad that the episodes are really coming along super-nicely. Pretty much the only release I am looking forward to this season besides Pumpsis.

    5. Flame-wielding Drew Carey > ROFL
      I’d like to see if Mr Wizardo reappears.

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