Retsgip’s Anime Blog

Darkshaunz puts on his Shinigami robes once more.

For a moment in time, Bleach fans resembled the battered marines on the shores of Iwo Jima. Due to our preseverance and determination, we endured close to thirty days of fighting horrible fillers that the defending Japanese forces were throwing at us. Our patience has been rewarded. The failstorm has subsided, and whilst the last pieces of crap drop from the failclouds, we can all see the Sunlight breaking through what has been a nightmarish Soul Reaping excursion. Seems that the animation studio learnt something about fillers, it’s way better if you end them quickly, and it seems the mangaka himself is taking some of this advice too. The final percision artillery strikes of decent animation and proper writing has saved our weary platoon from certain annihiliation.

“That was the best toilet break ever!”

Let’s get straight into Episode 137 then. The first thing that viewers get to see Aizen’s sexy self stroll into his personal chambers. I was wondering why he had to leave his throne room in the first place, did he go to take a piss or did he make himself a cup of tea? I guess this is one of those amazing filler mysteries nobody will give a shit to solve in the coming future. Then, something happened which shocked the audience, he used his powers of illusion to set everything up! Gasp! I know you are probably all dying of a heart attack at the moment, but stay with me, it’s all true. Yes, he was behind it all, Ulquiorra was an illusion, the Ho-cube the three stooges stole was a fake and the decor in his throne room sucks. Gin, seemed to be confused by the whole thing too, he questions Aizen as to why he went through all that deception when he could have just have invited them to tea and poison their lipton tea sacks? Aizen, whom I suspect is addicted to Hair Gel, responded with a cool and suave, “It would have been boring, wouldn’t it?”. How dare he say that, Tea Parties are super special awesome (He can dress up as the Mad Hatter and Gin can be Alice).

What a “cover up”. Hyuk hyuk.

Gin. Goes down smooth.

I could sense a tone of finality in this episode, this brought an ecstatic grin to my otherwise doom-gloom face in recent Bleach developments. Failface (Patros), had been keeping his arrogant and snobbish demeanour from the last episode. He stood there in all his ego, as he shrugged off Renji’s half-arsed attempts at an attack. Renji, who was probably as enraged at how ridiculous he looked in the last episode, released his limiter seal and went Bankai. Apparently this time, as he was transforming, he was enveloped by a large swirling mass of vanilla ice cream. Usually it was a lot of smoke, but this time, it was a “delicious” transition. One more thing which gets to me though, is how Renji always has to announce “Babboon King Zabimaru” everytime he Bankais. We know dude, we know, who else could it be? Gorilla King Kong? Keanu Reeves? Of course its Babboon King Zabimaru. Also, even though it looks nothing like a Babboon, moreso a Skeletal Dragon, we have been rather forgiving. Perhaps everytime I reach for my water bottle in University, I should walk up to the lecturer’s podium and shout, “MOUNT FRANKLIN MINERAL WATERRRR!!!!” and chug it down. This is before I get suspended from the unit for disrupting class obviously. The next few sequences is where the typical rinse and repeat, “lol you can’t beat me kid!” and, “lol don’t underestimate me dude!” bullshit repeats itself.

Failface, realizing that his airtime is under threat.

Eat more bananas Renji, it’ll help.

Thank God he told me AGAIN, otherwise I would not have known.

Viewers grab a brief glimpse of Hitsugaya’s team smashing up the two other failcronies. Captain Shota has gotten sick and tired of having Seafood condiments beat him up, so he decides he is finally going to send Tentacool to the freezer and Ikkaku found it in himself to break the shell of Oyster-man. No episode of Bleach filler is complete without Ikkaku making some kind of ridiculous war-crazy face. Back in the undergound training chamber of the Urahara shop now, and Patros is feeling that his airtime is about to end very soon. Upon realizing this, he decides to release a Level 10 sonicboom upon Renji. I found this whole “level x” system of his really stupid, I mean how can he gauge the levels, even though it’s his primary skill? We didn’t even get to see Levels three to nine, because he jumps straight to level ten, I call shenanigans. Renji, who also smells the shenanigans, responds by driving Zabimaru straight in to deflect the beamspam, and does so successfully. In a way, I do enjoy watching Renji fight, but I always felt he lacked a variety in his skill (much like Ichigo spamming Getsuga fucken’ Tenshou every time he breathes).

I don’t even want to know what he is thinking. Seriously.

This is a preparation of the beamspam abuse in arcs to come.

Lolicious.

His level is Maximum

I was laughing hard when Failface released his zanpaktou. He looked like a Hunchback guy with a skull mask and two arms which look like two halves of a broken teapot. Yeah, that is so Badass, and by Badass I mean fucking stupid. The best part isn’t how gimped this failure of an arrancar looks, but rather his proclamation that it was his “Maximum Level”. Regulars here know that I’m a DBZ buff, so I would have naturally eaten this up in aces. There is only one person in the anime universe with a Maximum Power Level, and that is Broly (never forget that). If someone walked in and said, “No, Kamina has the maximum power level”, I could at least see where he or she was coming from (but I’d still punch them in face). That aside, for a maximum level release, the design at least looks unique. However, an unbroken teapot would probably terrify me more than him. Can you guess what his power ability is after releasing? Yes, it is more beamspamming. Patros shoots more beams in this episode than a Republic Battlecruiser in Star Wars. However, his beams are obviously crap, seeing as a Bamboo Snake can absorb the particles and ride it like a hawaiian surfer.

“Would you like some tea?”

“Yes please!!!!”

“Okay, I will pour some for you right away!”

Failface’s comrades “Drop-In” to say hello (pun very intended) and after saying their hellos, they proceed to dying swiftly. Bleach fans all around the world rejoiced, finally we could force our brains to forget the two pokemon ripoff characters which threatened to make us hate the Bleach anime forever. There was a bit of “character development” here too, as Renji figures Patros used the two of his comrades to further his diabolical plans. Failface nods menacingly, citing that it was necessary. Now we as an audience truly know that he is a very evil being, capable of manipulating his fellow arrancars to the death (Oh the humanity!). Drama aside, Renji’s sense of overwhelming justice decided that it was time to put the diabolical arrancar for good. The two exchange their strongest attacks at each other. Failface did the usual lazer beam, and Renji just recycled the “Howl Zabimaru” move again. In true shounen style, the two attacks resulted in a massive ball of energy in the epicentre of contact. Apparently Zabimaru was explosive in nature now, despite physically shearing and deflecting the previous beams. One should never question anime physics, for the sake of his or her sanity

A “Chilling” tale of failure.

The “Hard” reality of losing.

Renji gets beaten up something nasty, and as things look grim for our brave hero, the dolls come in to buy Renji time. Ririn was smart enough to figure out that Failface had to sheathe his sword in order to launch his attacks, as he had to store his attack energy in the scabbard before releasing them. I’ll admit that this revelation was pretty cool, it was a Detective Conan moment in a Bleach filler, and despite enjoying that brief moment of “That’s pretty smart”…I was distracted at how delicious Ririn looked all beat up and clothes torn (brb FBI). So the three dolls plan out their attack, which happens to be the typical Cloud Kagebunshin no Jutsu crap all over again. However this time, they wait for him to pull out his major attack so the next time Cloud goes in to stop him in his tracks before he can reach for his scabbard. The plan was successful, and Failface was incapacitated for a brief moment in time. However, one of his teapot cannons remained unchecked. In a desperate bid, he shoots another round, but this is valiantly deflected by Cloud. Renji finishes the deal with his trademark Bamboo Cannon. Failface dies the stereotypical, “How can this b-Aaarrrgh!!!” way and viewers physically clapped like seals in joy and elation. I know I did!

Arrancar Manicures prove to be challenging at best.

Note to self: Fingers do not go in Electrical Sockets

Glory to the Computer Societyyyy!!!!

After all the action is over, this is the time where anime characters start appearing from nowhere. Urahara and team “conveniently” appear after the final blow was dealt and he coyly excuses himself for missing the good part of the action. Captain Shota and his Scooby Doo Gang also appear at the last minute, despite looking like shit. Except for Rangiku’s twins, they always seem to be top and pristine condition (perhaps that’s her real bankai, who knows). In a brief reprise of Quality, the gang stand around and finally decided that Aizen was manipulating them. This conclusion is extremely important to us of course, because you know, we had no idea that Captain 60’s Hairgel had anything to do with this (pretend to act surprised guys!). Despite the first five minutes of the episode being devoted to Gin explaining to us that it was in fact a grand deception. Before the episode can end, there’s a sequence where Urahara’s travelling troop runs into Ulquiorra, who was out collecting energy samples from the Vegeta crash site (For Saiyan research). He rushes off to report to Aizen that Orihime has something he wants. Let’s hope it’s not her Cherry-pie.

The Scooby Doo gang finally get a clue.

Ulquiorra ushers in a new start to non-fillerdom.

Next week: Rukia and Orihime Training

Just a forewarning here, there’s probably going to be a biased score next week. Purely because I am like a Sailor who has been out at sea for waayyy too long and has been hankering for some action. Some hot, hot Rukia action that is. Even if it happens to be nothing but Rukia and Orihime training non-stop for twenty four minutes, I will be watching like some poor loveless child going on his first trip to Disneyland. Oh, and the preview has Ichigo doing some laundry, because like all serious training and preparation of Inter-Dimensional combat….the laundry just HAS to be done. Wait, wait, Ohhh I get it! Do you get it my dear readers? It’s a joke about Bleach, you know, cleaning, laundry etc. That was so hilarious! I wonder if the next filler villain will be named Chlorox. Fear not, the end of fillers is nigh and if you are a manga reader like me, it seems that Hueco Mondo is just a stone’s throw away (by a guy with a fucking huge arm).

Yeahhh Rukia!!!

Yeahhh Orihime upskirt!!!

Yeahhh Laundry!!!

Before I go off to do something else to avoid university work, I’d like you all to check out the Bleach Official Bootleg book which should have been released RAW by your Bleach scanlation group of choice (I mean “Purchase” it of course). For those of you who don’t want to be spoiled, don’t worry you won’t be. The Bleach Official Bootleg is a collection of short comic strip stories based on the Gotei 13 in full colour by Kubo Tite himself. Naturally, I don’t have any idea what is happening, but the pictures by themselves are amusing too. Actually so are Japanese characters, because they look like worms brawling with each other. That aside, one of the best things in the full-colour text is the Zaraki-Cam pages, where you get to see the world from our favourite Pink Superchibi, Yachiru. The Ninja-Info Cards setup of the tail end of the book is also a treat if you can read moonrunes. That said, I think I should go rewatch these Rebuild of Evangelion trailers for the twentieth time. Rei is so hot.

Just a preview page of many goodies in the book.

Cheers,

Darkshaunz