Darkshaunz enjoys the lightshow
I must admit, this final episode to the filler arc was entertaining. Importantly, Bleach is learning, they now know that a short filler-arc burst with a lot of fighting ensures that rabid fans don’t send letterbombs to their studios. This short, but somewhat sweet mini-arc provides a nice little reprise from the main story. The main filler protagonist was admittedly kind of cool, there’s plenty of Rukia and all your favourite characters got a swing of the action. I am actually saying that if fillers will continue to resemble this one, hey, maybe it isn’t so bad after all. However, with this arc blissfully ending, we can now once again focus our attention into the bowels of Las Nachos (okay, that was kind of yucky).
Rukia’s latest pimp-acquisition is into some weird fetishes.
Aishido, more than a Bishie Face
In the previous episode, Rukia and the now unmasked Aishido met up with a crappy looking Adjuchas with overly large arms. I am not sure what the design element was for this guy, but I guess the primary concept would be “Ridiculously stupid looking and Impractical”. If this was indeed the aim, then they passed with flying colours, as this Adjuchas not only looks like a complete moron, it fights as well as a dead cat on a wheelchair. Another change in the whole Cero usage comes with the fact that Adjuchas can order Gillians around like bitches. There is only one command though, “Use Cero!”. That’s it, yeah I know, you definitely need to possess leadership skills to do that. So all this sorry-looking Adjuchas can do is not only look stupid, but also to order his towering brainless compatriots to charge their lazers (are you terrified yet?). The Ceros are fired with no effort and they come in a massive salvo, I miss the days when a Cero was a Big Deal, now it’s just being spammed (DBZ would be so proud). Aishido doesn’t even give a shit, he dodges them like they were approaching them at a snail’s pace. Rukia dodges too, but in a more acrobatic way, but she is caught off guard by the spastic looking adjuchas and Aishido intervenes to save her from certain penetration (not THAT kind of penetration).
“So I guess you guys aren’t here for the V for Vendetta cosplay convention then”
Aishido and Rukia double team the foul monstrosity.
Rukia sees his Point.
Rukia, more than a Damsel in Distress
I liked the comradeship between Rukia and Aishido. I think that Rukia’s character reflected her stern yet understanding nature on Aishido’s situation very realistically. I know this isn’t canon, but it was pleasing to see that this Filler hero actually has a believable backstory, isn’t a complete moron, has a decent amount of fighting power without having to even Shikai once and puts his life on the line for a shinigami lady whom he just met (how very gentlemanly). Shippers might find some Out of Context vibes here, but I think everyone can appreciate the nice two-teaming these Death-Gods are serving. After the obligatory relationship - building segment, the Adjuchas feels that it was a good time to attack them since they finished building character (because attacking them whilst they were distracted would be absolutely ridiculous). Rukia wouldn’t have any of that bollocks, so out comes the white sword of icyness and we say goodbye to the silly-looking Crapjuchas for good. Then the both of them have a bit of a cry about Aishido’s broken mask, because you know, that has a lot of sentimental value and memoooriiiesss attached to it. They were so caught up in it, I was surprised they didn’t decide to have a little ceremony, build a mask-casket and then place a tombstone for it.
“Don’t look at me like that, I just like Goats, A LOT”.
I guess he got the cold shoulder.
R.I.P, that inaminate object they spent 2 minutes lamenting on.
Ichigo, Ishida, Chad, Renji and Bawabawa are then off to rescue Nell and her brothers, they sense their reiatsu in some dangerous cave which is most likely a trap. Now, usually people with half a brain would know to assess the situation before going into the unknown. Unfortunately, we are talking about Ichigo and Renji here, these guys make it possible that if you combine two idiotic minds together, you get the ultimate saiyan form of stupidity. Ishida decides that they should have a look at the surroundings before the attack, but Ichigo, Renji and Chad decide that the “LOL GUYZ LETS JUST SNEAK INZIDE” strategy was the best plan of action. To everyone’s relief, it was empty and what they sensed were just leftover scraps of Nell’s reiatsu. Bawabawa, who seemed to be laughing the shit out of his thick lips decided to ask those guys to stop failing so hard at life and actually follow him, because it seems that he and Ishida are the only sentient creatures capable of non-stupid thoughts at the present moment. The gang agrees and what follows is a scene of hilarity, whereby a giant worm-fish with death-gods riding on him cruise throughout the menos forest tree-line with a kind of relaxed manner. It’s like I am watching some kind of twisted bizzarro world Mario Kart in anime form.
Bawabawa is a fine example of great oral hygiene.
Stupidity spread to Chad too, hang in there Ishida mah boi.
Transform, and Worm out!
Hello, I am another shitty Adjuchas!
Hey there, Mr. Adjuchas, why, you look like you suck as much (possibly more) than the guy Rukia and Aishido just sent to oblivion. I like how viewers are never told the names of this Adjuchas, I know they don’t get names until they become Arrancars or some crap like that, but seriously they needed to give them names. I would have called this one Mary-Sue, you know what, let’s continue calling this one Mary-Sue. Mary-Sue looks like his mother was an Anteater and his father, a shitblock. Just like his other companions, he possesses the leadership qualities of being able to order Gillian to crowd around his opponents for another Cero spam. Ichigo, Renji, Chad and Ishida are all kind of tired of this same old strategy being used every fucking two seconds, and so they all decide to power up and put an end to these filler baddies once and for all. Ishida jumps up and does his usual Turbocannon of Quincy Arrows attack which is equivalent to a Spirit Carpetbomber dumping it’s explosive shit all over your face. Ishida has gotten quite the power up, and its good to see that one arrow causes as much explosive power as a small missile.
“Hello, my name is Mary-Sue, and I suck shit” (quite literally).
Ishida is also guilty of spamming the same attacks over and over again.
Mary-Sue never understood why men in black robes always wanted to KILL him.
The Gillians, brainless as they are, at least show some semblance of thought and decide that now is a good time to shoot their laze-Ceros at the guys that doesn’t look like a vacuum cleaner. Ishida counter-batteries with his own lazer barrage, and I couldn’t help but laugh at what looked like a Star Wars star fight. Pew Pew Cero Pew Pew Quincy Lazers Pew Mew Mew. Accompanying the spaceship fight above, Chad decides that he’ll use his El-Directon power to sweep the Gillians off their feet in a very literal sense. I was hoping that he would cry out, “TIMMBEERRR” everytime one of eight-storey hollow giants fell on their faces. Not to be outdone by his brothers-in-arms, Ichigo finally jumps in with his over the top shouting and grunting to demonstrate to viewers that Mary-Sue was going to get his warranty voided. Mary-Sue showed more fighting agility than his dead brother, and he can actually dodge and parry attacks like a being with combat power, so it was quite entertaining to watch. Ichigo grew tired of the ceasless exchanging of blows and so decided to Getsuga Tenshou his way out of the fight. Mary-Sue decides to stay and scream instead of moving out of the way, because that is what all anime bad guys do. He gets utterly obliterated, which makes me sad inside, because I wanted to get to know Mary-Sue better, like I wanted to know why he didn’t shoot a Cero from his long-ass mouth chute (or is it used for reproductive purposes?). Now we’ll never know the mystery of Mary-Sue.
“This is Gold Leader, stay on target, stay on target”
Chad’s foot massages have always been lethal.
“I am villain number #41,653 to die to a Getsuga Tenshou! NooOOOooOOO!!!”
They seem Guardin’ Guardin’ Guardin’, they be intrudin’
Aizen actually positioned a guardian for the menos forest, just in case of the one in ten-trillion chance that a rag tag bunch of death-gods, a human, a giant worm and a quincy actually managed to find themselves into a strategically unimportant and extremely tiresome craphole that is the Menos Forest. Woah, I have to give the guy credit, because he definitely thought ahead a lot, he is either display a Death Note Light-level of ingenuity or I am smelling story-plot hax bullshit being cooked here. Aishido and Rukia then face up with this so-called Guardian, this guy is the most important character-boss in this filler, yet has no name. Let’s call this guy Grinbitch, because he seems to be so goddamn happy about something, I don’t know, maybe he gets a lot of Hollow-lady action at night, or he has been eating too many Happy-Happy Menos Forest Mushrooms. Grinbitch is the usual arrogant, overconfident and douchebag leader of the Adjuchas Fail-Sentai. Aishido, like the smashing gentleman he is, decides to ask the lady to dearly not get involved so he can flex his chauvinistic muscles and flick his hair mid-air (for the fangirls to touch themselves). Long story short, Aishido does a lot of fanciful flying, blocking and chops off the appendages of Grinbitch with ease. Then Grinbitch aims for Rukia because he thinks that she is a pushover. Rukia, who is sick and tired of this damsel-targetting asshattery, decides that snowcone-avalanche no-jutsu was in order to ice the smiling cackodemon once and for all.
He has a hole in his heart, hyuk hyuk.
“Hey Rukia, you made that kind of anti-climatic”
It’s time to get out of this craphole!
Now that all the bad guys are dead, they can all leave this horrible place once and for all. I had a feeling that they were going to kill Aishido off, because that would be the “out-of-sight” approach all fillers used in the past. I was pleasantly surprised that upon reaching the exit to Hueco Mondo, Aishido was not stupidly erased by a stray Cero beam or a rock smashing on his body. Instead, he heroically fends off Cero beams which were headed towards Rukia and her posse, and unfortunately, causes the exit tunnel to collapse behind him. He then bravely dashes into the group of Gillians, sword in hand, cape on back and battle-wits on the ready. Before you all die from rolling your eyes as if you were possessed by satan himself, this overtone of super-cliches was not poorly executed. For once, you actually felt glad that they didn’t completely waste a character they spent three episodes exploring. Rukia is the most affected by his being left behind out of the pack, but that is understandable, seeing as she was the one who spent the most time with him. I am glad they didn’t use a cheap copout by killing him off. He’s still alive and fighting. I suspect we’ll see our old friend Aishido once the Hueco Mondo arc comes to a finish.
Ichigo and Rukia look out for any more cheap cliche’d plothax lurking around.
“Go on without me! I will hold them off so you can escape, even though I know this so fucking cliche’d”.
The scene then quickly changes to the Outer Perimeters of Las Noches, and Rukia remarks that the stone used to build the wall isn’t like the reiatsu-absorbing one in Soul Society, and so could be knocked down using brute strength. To her comfort, Dumb and Dumber trailing behind her possess the necessary force required to knock down the walls and the first barrier to saving Orihime. Meanwhile, Orihime is looking out the cage of her captors with some kind of strange relief. She’s probably sensed that something close to home is coming to free her from hours of standing around doing nothing and from a place which direly needs lighting ideas from Ikea’s home inspirations catalogue. Ulquiorra, who seems to have more makeup today than a camwhore on a flash-frenzy, decides to pay his favourite prisoner a visit. He is as cold and unsociable as always, making SASKAYYY look like the life of a party. His only remark is that Orihime’s friends are there to save her, and not to have some tea and scones with Aizen as he predicted earlier (he then had to buy Orihime lunch for losing the bet). The episode closes with Renji and Ichigo going Super Saiyan for the first time.
Looking healthy there, Orihime….mmm.
With that, we usher in a new age of Bleach. One where beamspamming, powering up with saiyan auras and possibly more spikey-haired shenanigans arrive to the feet of our endeared Heroes. Whilst many argue that this is essentially Save Rukia version 2.0, I can appreciate the finer differences and fundamental plot developments which this land of the night can provide viewers. The journey within the Dark Citadel will be on wrought with peril, stupid strategic decisions, overpowered enemies, teabaggery and also a very beautiful prize at the end of the castle. After looking at Orihime in her arrancar dress, and how it emphasizes her amazingly large boobs, I am convinced into thinking that perhaps that the Cake at the end of dungeon isn’t a lie after all. Rest assured fellow Bleachers, this is the start of the series’s true power release.
“Orihime, the truth is, I used your eyeliner without asking you…”