This week, we bear witness to the Greatest Showdown, Ever.
Here at Retsgip anime blog, we are proud to host Animeblogger.net IRC’s first ever Blogger Mecha Showdown. What started out as an innocent discussion about a Code Geass frame (I’m looking at you, Danny!), turned into a plan of mecha proportions. Ladies and Gentlemen, between these few individuals, they have initiated the gears of war, Battlesuits representing their respective blog sites have come here to duke it out amongst themselves. Your votes will determine which mech wins the title of Mightiest Blogger mech of 2006 (Poll is on the RIGHT SIDEBAR!-Thanks Rets <3).
Darkshaunz and Retsgip spectate from the safety of a Battlecruiser.
Rules - What Rules?
This is the annual Pride and Joy of the Blogger’s Mecha Skirmish. Mere rules and safeguards are for worms. If you thought SaiGAR and SaiMoe was serious business, then SaiBLOGMECHA will wipe the floor clean with you. There are no huge tournament tables with like 10,000 participants, only four inspiring Blogger-Pilots who have donned their combat armour for the glory of their homeland. You, the voter, will decide the winner by voting for your favourite blogger (or turn against him just for spite!), or whoever you think has the coolest special attack (all their special moves will make you shit bricks).
Great taste, great taste.
Battlesuit: Evangelion Unit-01 Frame (With Keitaro-kun’s eyes)
Height: 4 storeys
Description: Danny’s Evangelion unit was noted for it’s cute human-like eyes. The whitecoats at NERV were so spooked at it that it was sealed underneath a chamber so that they could re-make another with less kawaii~ eyes. Assigned as the Sixth Children, Danny discovered this unit and claimed it as his own. Affectionately known as “The Darkshaunz”, it was believed that Danny chose this name so another blogger of the same name would find it really hard to find an appropriate pic/eyes to represent himself (according to Eva historians).
Danny’s Special Move - “The Retsgip”
Seriously, so Moe, you’re going to Die.
Description: A move named after an American blogger who was infamous for destroying an entire army with just striking a “Nice Guy Pose”. It was believed that the individual, General Retsgip donned a Green Tracksuit and upon striking his pose, several hundreds of “Chibi” schoolgirls appeared to overwhelm the opposing force. Danny came across this technique when General Retsgip apparently appeared to him in a dream, passing him this devastating technique. It is rumoured that the technique requires the souls of adorable rabbits.
Kurogane - http://kurogane.animeblogger.net/
King of GAR, do you have enough RED???
Battlesuit: Char Aznable’s Sazabi’s Crimson Custom
Height: 3 storeys
Description: Kurogane was a part of a proud clan of GARpenters, who forged cities with their bare hands. They used not normal wood, but GAR-pine, which was so manly that Kurogane’s people had to chokeslam the wood before they could even chop or cut it. Unfortunately, a mysterious plague swept over his people known as “MOE”. His manly peoples became infatuated with all things adorable and cute. Kurogane knew in his heart that this faggotry was unacceptable, he created this Sazabi by carving out a mountain filled with metal. With his bare hands. He aspired to crush the world with his GAR powers for turning his people in MOE-loving fruitcakes.
Kurogane’s Special Move - “Unlimited Blade Works”
Manly Poem is MANLY.
Description: Unlimited Blade Works is the pinnacle of GAR, it was technique refined by the God of GAR, GARcher. Only a few have ever bore witness to this technique, those who have, only speak of it in whispers. They tell of a blood-tainted sky, where an uncountable number of blades fell upon Kurogane’s unsuspecting foes. Blades of all makes and origins, pierced the hearts of those not worthy of surviving this GARtacular attack. Although the original required a prayer which consumed spiritual force, Kurogane’s hate for everything MOE was so great that he only needed to picture Unlimited Blade Works in his mind for it to happen.
Battlesuit: Steel Lancer Battlemech, Hartman Model
Height: 1.5 storeys
Description: Impz’s mech was designed as a sniping, guerilla warfare and fast assault platform. What it lacks in firepower and armour, it makes up in extremely fast speed and manouverability. Known as the keeper of Green-Haired-Girls, Impz created this Mech in order to stop a blogger known as Akurashy from abducting his Green-Haired-Girls. Akurashy was successful in past skirmishes, but with Impz’s new Interceptor Mech, the tides have turned. Akurashy (lol sorry Aku-chan, but we need to use you for Impz’s background story) has since gathered his Anti-Green-Haired forces somewhere near this blog. Impz will destroy other mechs which he sees, and that means the mechs in this showdown.
Impz’s Special Move - “LOL Sound Wave”
Whoever Jokes, We Lose.
Description: Due to mech’s lack of firepower, the special attack had to come from the tank commander itself. Battlesuit Ace, Tsuruya-chan was well known for her explosive laughter. We are not joking when we say that her laughter is lethal. Once, at a Stand up comedy show, she let out a giggle. This giggle destroyed the whole theater and made everyone but her explode in a bright combustive plume of light. It is unknown how she got such an ability, but there’s no joking around when it came to her laughter (pun intended). Her LOL Sound Wave can generate enough firepower equivalent to a nuclear bomb once in full swing.
Lupus - http://that.animeblogger.net
Its a Prinny in a Dreadnaught. Seriously guys.
Pilot: Lupus-Sol/Prinny-Su/Marshmallow_Puft_Man (Damn you got a lot of aliases =p)
Battlesuit: Blood Angels Chapter Dreadnaught
Height: <1 storey
Description: Lupus is Impz’s ally, knowing that Impz’s light recon mech would surely face trouble against Danny’s Evangelion 01 unit and Kurogane’s furious Sazabi Custom, Lupus secretly sent his best Liutenant to assist in the battle. Commander Prinny was a Prinny (due to his psycho evil eyes) which stood out amongst aspiring pilots of the United Penguin Army (UPA), and was chosen specially to destroy all that opposed Impz and Lupus, in their glorious name.
Lupus-Sol’s Special Move - “The Prinny Toss”
That was the last time we called Lupus a “tosser”.
Description: The Prinny toss is the most legendary of all moves known to Animeblogger.net IRC’ers. It is a technique of great sophistication and flare. It takes a certain kind of special style to be able to pick up a Penguin and toss it as a grenade. As the commanding officer of the skirmish, Commander Prinny has refined the Prinny Toss to the next level. He can toss himself, there is no longer a need for anyone to toss him, using some bizzare form of Karate and Judo and Explosive Engineering, Commander Prinny can just lob himself for some seriously ridiculous damage. Who said Penguins were harmless?
How did this start?
Danny decided to ask what Karen’s frame from Code Geass was called. I found this name hilarious due to it’s over the top nature, and decided to asl all the bloggers present in IRC to name themselves a Mech and give themselves a special move. To my surprise, three of those active in the channel decided it was delicious time to arm and steel themselves. So the ideas flowed in and Impz humourously remarked to me, “Hey why not blog it?”. To which I responded, “I’ll do better and make this into a showdown”, we had three mechs and they all special moves, shit needed to go down, and we decided to let readers from all three blogs decide who would walk away victorious. Impz however, insisted that Lupus be included with his Prinny-chan in tow, maybe he couldn’t take Danny’s Eva power and Kuro’s GAR aura….
Our boys take their mechs for a spin.
Retsgip Anime Blog Thanks the boys over at Animeblogger IRC:
Akurashy - For tossing Prinny and making fun of Impz.
Danny - We’re still figuring out what 302 means, and your age.
Impz - Nyoro~n! Green Haired Girls desuyo~
Kurogane - Dude, are you GAR enough yet?
Lupus Sol - I won’t mistake a Penguin for a Prinny. Ever again.