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  • Ikkitousen Dragon Destiny - 01 - Playing with Balls

    Posted on March 3rd, 2007 by Darkshaunz - 10,587 Views
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    Darkshaunz runs out of Tissues

    Score: 7.8/10 (Add a one when the subs come out)

    I said in my previous entry that I would check out the first episode of Dragon Destiny, and so I did. I found it strange that this anime has not been picked up by a subbing company yet (It has Planes! and we all love planes). Nevertheless, we here at Retsgip Anime Blog like trying and experiencing new and dangerous things. For me, this is my first ever RAW, and it serves as a reminder why I should not even Pretend to know Moonspeak. On the bright side, more panties and firm boobs for all the guys (No objections here).

    The Object of every combat vixen’s desire.

    The great thing about Ikkitousen is that, its the kind of anime where you are too busy staring at just how stupidly well animated and well drawn all the babes are as opposed to actually paying any attention to the plot (if there is one). Seeing as I could harness the Japanese language as well as I can fly a F-16 Fighting Falcon (I can do neither), then I had no choice but pay attention to the visual cues, the animation quality, sound, character design and how much fapping I can get done before the episode ends. If you note the score above, 7.5 is pretty darn good just based on those factors and due to the fact that I have zero understanding about where the story is going. If there were subs, it would probrably score higher.

    Eyepatch-chan in a Cheongsam

    Who the hell needs a plot?

    I have a thing for Cheongsams, I mean the whole Silk composite, body-curve tight design and high cut up the sides are pretty much designed to send most males into “Lock-On” procedure on the wearer. If you combine this with a Rei-lookalike, with an Eyepatch, then you have already given birth to a very successful character. I am not really interested in Ryoumu’s dialogue (she does have a sexy voice), but Im all for whose ass she will be kicking next, and also Im all for her Ass, in general. The episode opens with her walking into some Chinese temple, seeking a Dragon Ball (lol copyright), I am guessing she is collecting all 7 dragon balls to summon Shenron to grant her a wish.

    Spot the Fetishes.

    Lara Croft called, she wants her script back

    Stone Guards have been camping that spot for like 5000 years (camperfags suck).

    If you ever watched the Tomb Raider movies (I watched them for the storyline, and not because I got to see Angelina Jolie in a wetsuit, srsly). Then in the first movie, Lara Croft has to go to some temple and get some relic, but these statues come to life to attack her. This is pretty much the same thing with Ryoumu. Eyepatch-chan is unfortunately overpowered by one of the Stone Guards and in the event she lost her eyepatch (OMG!), the guards froze. I am very curious what the Stone Guards saw, was it the End of the World? or was it the prediction of more Naruto or more Bleach Fillers to come in the Future? Either way, its yet another eyepatch saves the day kind of situation.

    Cheongsam-chan haet intruders

    My balls are no longer inert, if you know what I mean

    Just like DragonBallz, there’s usually more than one clown seeking the Balls (even when they are inert). Just when Eyepatch-chan snags the Ball for herself, Cheongsam-chan turns up to say something along the lines of, “Hay Bitch, you are liek totally in my turf yo, Ima bitchslap yo ho-ass this side to the Bronx” in Japanese. Its funny when there isn’t any subs to hold your hand through the RAWs, especially when you know no Jap like me. I was kind of imagining the two ladies exchanging some Rap-showdown dialogue, Thank Haruhi for my amazing ability to incorporate gangsta-speak to fill the void of Japanese understanding. The two have at each other and its also symbolic of a new type of fight: The Sexual Overload Catfight.


    Making Zangief Look Bad

    Xtreme!!! Yoga (we love our Xtreme sports here)

    After a few jumps, flash steps and energy beams, Eyepatch-chan decides to get Down to business. She proceeds to wrap her heavenly legs and thighs around Cheongsam-chan’s neck and Grappled herself on her victim’s right arm. This was an awesome wrestling move and one which actually makes the whole act of disabling sexy. The only other series I know of which makes this kind of grappling look sexy is Dead or Alive, and that’s a video game line. What would you do in this situation? I’d personally die happy that I was killed by an Eyepatch-chan wearing a Cheongsam. But not Cheongsam-chan, because she’s as hot as Eyepatch-chan, she does what all scantily clad warrior vixens would, set the whole fucking place on fire.

    Panties. Check.

    Hot Rack. Check.

    Butt Nekkid

    It hurts, yet it feels so damned good (according to Japan).

    This is one thing I like about balls-out (pardon the pun) action anime, it was perfectly reasonable for Cheongsam-chan to burn down like a Historically important buddhist temple in order to try and take down Ryoumu, I sincerely hope the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty do not have Dragon Balls, god knows which hot psycho bitch will come to burn your national icon down. Then there’s a scene where Ryoumu is taking a shower butt naked in her motel room, we can she she’s got a nasty bruise from her previous fight and when she touches it, it sounds like a Cock (male chicken, of course, you dirty minded guys) just found his “home”. This is probrably the only anime where touching a bruise makes a Rei-lookalike moan sexually and blush. I mean if people fap to this, is it like softcore guro?

    Door Abuse and Street Fighting

    Cheongsam-chan haet Doorknob.

    What is it with Anime characters and bashing down doors? I don’t care how smart or powerful some of them are, but doing a Thunder-Godkilling-Punch definitely takes more energy than say, I don’t know Using the Doorknob!? That aside, Cheongsam-chan uses her Antenna-Fringe to detect where Ryoumou lives (she can watch cable using those two things too). In that short time, Eyepatch-chan already changed into her Maid costume and wrapped some bandages around her Death-Eye. This can mean two things, it either means 1) She has a magical transformation makeup device like Sailormoon or 2) She is just the professional cosplayer. Then the two girls do the obligatory jump on neon signs and try to destroy each other on the streets of China jig. Everything happens so quickly and blows are exchanged in a blink of an eye, I can only assume that they were all awesome.



    They should rename it to Plane Destiny.

    Its over. The Girls are finished. It doesn’t matter how voluptious and skilled they are, because PLANE-GAR is in the neighbourhood, and this 100 tonne metallic beast takes no shit from any cheongsam-gothloli cosplaying female. Scientists are still studying just how awesome THE PLANE really is, in Ikkitousen (numbers read up to definitely over 9 million). To demonstrate the ownership and dominance over the battle maidens, he totally intercepts Cheongsam-chan’s Steel Ball yoyo as she launches her attack. The wires were messed up by THE PLANE’s four Pratt and Whitney engines, which have enough power to fuel a Tornado Crosswind. Also, notice how it’s all dark and mysterious, this makes it like a pretty cool character and shit, and when I say pretty cool I mean Fucking Awesome. So if you ever doubted how sexy planes can be in anime, just look to their champion of GAR, THE PLANE.

    Ewok Sensei and Undersized Uniform-chan

    “Yub Yub!”

    As if Door Abuse is not enough, this time poor and defenceless trees are knocked down by the sexy spear-wielding Guan Yu we saw from the promo. I don’t know much about her old, short and midget master. But what I do know, that he is an ewok in diguise of a human, that and he has some bullshit force powers which he uses to cut trees (Lumberjack Jedi Ewok maybe, Lucas is going to shit bricks). Guan Yu looks a lot like Sakura from Street Fighter Alpha, and seeing she is my number one favourite character to fight with in the series, its no surprise that I am instantly attracted to her character (second favourite being Ken). This whole sequence was just a chance for us to admire her excellent body and possibly continue fapping (if you have enough sexual drive or stamina available).

    “…well son, when a Tree loves a Woman…”

    I wouldn’t mind if the whole series was done in this camera angle, tbh.

    These Girls go to school?

    The one thing I 100% understood in the episode.

    In a shocking turn of events, we are taken to their high school. Throughout the course of the episode, we don’t actually see any of the girls in a classroom doing any studying, but I think we can assume that they are actually looking after their scholarly duties. Haha, what am I saying? I’d rather see Panty-vision fights as opposed to them in a classroom listening to some old man or MILF teacher doing some lecture. That Glasses girl has a pretty cool “3 Kingdoms” imaginary scene where Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei swore an oath to remain brothers indefinitely under the peach blossom (if my 3 kingdoms lore is right, hurrah for Dynasty Warriors). This is interrupted by Fang-tan, who is like the Tsuruya of Ikkitousen but minus the arousingly long green hair and with breasts larger than Churuya’s smoked cheese plate. Like all big breasted and “energy” characters, she makes the subservient, soft and gentle Glasses girl cry. In this scene there is a birds eye view of Glasses-girl’s cleavage (you can tell I am paying attention to the dialogue).

    More Guan Yu poses and Hydrophobia

    /thumbsup, and /pantsdown

    The following sequences are totally dialogue intensive, which means it was a chance for me to check on my MSN conversations, alt tab to the Rei imageboard and go afk. The only thing that concerned me in these scenes were staring soullessly and drooling at Guan Yu’s manly attitude and her killer body and summing up Fang-tan’s breast size. In my mind, they were all taking a Hot springs bath with me naked, so it didn’t matter anyway. Oh and Glasses girl is really scared of water, like terrified. In the spirit of true friendship, Fang-tan rescues Glasses girl from drowning and then proceeds to throw her in the pool. This is where she loses her one piece, conveniently. I mean how in the hell did she manage to lose her swimsuit just by being thrown into the pool? Its ok that its gratuitious but then censoring the naughty bits was just the last straw indeed!

    My friends have done this before, but I never lost any items of clothing.

    …But she did! She has amazing clothes-losing abilities.

    Some crap about other Groups of Fighters and stuff

    The guys are just there as token male characters.

    To nobody’s surprise, there are other groups of fighters from other schools who want to kill them and eat their babies. You know, you begin to wonder whether those kids actually study in school, or whether or not they just go to school because they know they will be taking Epic Battles 101 as opposed to Modern History anyway. There’s a scene where a Trio of fighters exit the school with the whole student body lining up for themand there’s the group of fighters from the original series I think (I only watched like 2 episodes from the first series). In that scene, delicious Ryoumu dons her schoolgirl outfit and undersized pleated skirt, much to the rejoicing of all eyepatch-fetishists out there. They even zoomed in onto her face, she looks really hot when she’s angry, kind of like Revy from Black Lagoon. My pants are already down, I mean after all, Kabitzin our friend from Seaslugs did nickname me “The Blinderer”.

    This really ISN’T helping with my Rei Fanboyism.

    lol Hentai.

    I don’t think she has any Actual powers, except for conveniently bedding all the guys.

    There’s another glasses girl which has a penchant for making sure she looks as slutty as she can 24/7. In the promo video, she really has a porn star vibe about her, and I am happy to say that my initial judgement was confirmed!. She is caught licking this guy’s face and possiby his Cock (male chicken), during this scene where he is possibly jacking off to pictures of Ryoumu, Fang-tan, Glasses girl and he went down on her when he saw a picture of the Super Saiyan we saw (Maybe he is bisexual, in an anime like this, who really knows?). We can safely assume that love is made and juices are poured. Ikkitousen truly knows how to balance, nudity, softcore aspects, pantsu combat and outright explicit scenes. You could say it knows how to control the fire in our pants.

    Badass guys come in strawberry, lemon and coke, and I am not just referring to their faces.

    Super Saiyan’s Legacy

    Ring Ring Ring Bananaphone Ding Dong Ding Dong Dananaphone!

    Saiyaman is here to kill the guy who looked him up on his Myspace website (maybe he left a really mean testimonial). So remember guys, bad or nasty testimonials could get you killed these days (dangerous internet predators). He dispatches with the guards and goes up to the rooftop to do a very enthusiastic “WRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!”, which summons a weird light being from the storm (possibly a legendary pokemon, like Zapdos). That aside, we can tell that he used to be from a Dojo where they trained swordsmen, apparently he killed all his buddies and most likely even his own master. He sees more blood on his hands, stains of which he can never erase, even after washing his hands (MacBeth anyone?). Oh, and the whole Samurai Demon spirit possessing and driving him insane thing probrably doesn’t help either.

    Ending and First Impressions

    I’d recommend wearing a Sports Bra for Combat Support.

    The ED sequence is hands down the most borderline erotic and well drawn sequences to ever grace my computer monitor. Its kind of like watching hentai but knowing its technically not hentai, so you won’t have to feel bad when your friends on MSN are asking you what you are watching or doing. The artist is Urushihara or something I believe, who is pretty much a God figure of hentai illustrations right up there with Masamune Shirou. In terms of the episode, even though I had no idea what they were saying, I had a decent grasp of what was happening with all the visual cues the anime gives off during major events. I don’t think I can see myself blogging this series, mainly because there isn’t so much to talk about, as there is to massage our manhood to. Kabitzin also has a bounty on me, which is why I won’t be pursuing this series further (he will send legions of his readers to like, steal my eyepatch collection).

    Summarily, great animation, fluid movement, ridiculously seductive character designs, boobs (important), pantsu (important) and a bucketload of potential to include fights where the fighters lose the majority of their clothing (very important). In case I forget to mention it again, this anime also has PLANE-GAR (Fear it, and its bestial fury). Even though I may not be blogging the series, I just know I will download the weekly raws anyway, just because we all can’t resist seeing Guan Yu and her ridiculously tight uniform and because I have a thing for Eyepatch-chan. Move over Strike Witches, Ikkitousen is brining the Hot to 2007 and making me one step closer to joining the legions of the Blind.



    “The Blinderer”

    7 comments to “Ikkitousen Dragon Destiny - 01 - Playing with Balls”

    Please use <spoiler></spoiler> tags when appropriate, thanks!

    1. Urushihara Satoshi!? Crap, no wonder their nipples looked so well-defined in the ED, even with all that clothing in the way. I think that when Urushihara starts a drawing he begins with the breasts first.

      I’m just pissed that there was censoring when Ryuubi’s swimsuit er… swims away. After seeing the promo I was expecting some extreme NSFW content… cuz, you know I can totally watch this at my university computer lab as is… ahem… anyway. Kan’u being a primary character alone is enough to make me watch this.

    2. YES for Dynasty Warriors~! Crash course for any and all Three Kingdoms lore.

      Rejoice, for fansubs are out!
      Oh, and the pic with the four people (including Eyepatch-chan) are as follows: Koukin Shoumei (DragonRider’s cousin), Genpou (target of Ryomou’s affection), Ryomou (as herself and possible/potential lover of DragonRider), and Gakushuu (just a target)
      I’m surprised that they made Koukin one of the Top Four of Nanyo (Nanyo as in the name of their highschool) - he’s weak~! But fappers beware - Guan Yu chick has already expressed interest in Koukin before. ^_^

      Ah, Ryo-chan…(who is also Lu Meng from DW btw ^^)

    3. Going over characters, the four in the said group are Shuuyu Koukin (Zhou Yu), Ouin Shishi (Wang Yun), Ryomou Shimei (Lu Meng) and Gakushuu (Yue Jiu)

      As for the rest of the characters in the episode, the girl fighting Ryomou in the temple is Kakouen Myosai (Xiahou Yuan), the girl with a little clothes as possible is, as mentioned, Kan’u Unchou (Guan Yu), glasses girl is Ryuubi Gentoku (Liu Bei… no, really), girl throwing her in the pool is Chouhi Ekitoku (Zhang Fei), blackhaired glasses girl is Kaku Bunwa (Jia Xu), punk dude is Kakuka Houkou (Guo Jia), the bearded dude accompanying Kaku and Kakuka in the scene with all the students is Kakouton Genjou (Xiahou Dun), who also happens to be the only cool male character in the series, and finally, the Super Saiyan is Sousou Moutoku (Cao Cao), who also has potential to be quite awesome, but never did a thing in the first series.

    4. […] Lu Xun being the main character? Now, that’s a fricking good twist, considering that I am getting very sick of the hero being Guan Yu or anyone from the Shu faction. It is really boring to see the Shu faction depicted as the stereotypical nice guys and being the leads. It’s time for the Wei faction or the Wu faction to take center stage, so I applaud this series for it. The design is interesting but the introduction of machinery in a rather oriental portrayal (compared to Ikkoutousen: Dragon Destiny’s fanservice) is interesting but this will be a flaw in my opinion as stated later. […]

    5. That definitely ain’t me in the woods :P
      gotta watch this series!!! any subs out?

    6. Just by the way, there are subbed ep’s out! And, as hard as it is to zip up your pants and ignore the bra-less fighting wonders, it has a pretty good story line to boot. Here’s a link to the sub’s as well as some other pretty hot shit if you have the time to check it out. Just go to http://www.doujin-moe.com -You can search Ikki tousen and find all of those, plus 6 extra OVA’s featuring the girls naked in the hot springs as well as some other girl-on-girl breast play. And naked rock paper sisscors. Fap-much? :P Your welcome. Oh, and just to let everyone know, girls like this kind of stuff, too. We’re just more undercover about it.

    7. Woops, just adding to my other one! Sorry, but when you enter the site there will be alot of links down the right hand side, so scroll down, click on Ecchi, THEN search Ikkitousen

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